As the new franchise opens, there are protests from the first day. There is no fooling the public about the killing and harvesting of these innocent chickens. “Who did they hurt? What harm did they cause?” asked Ramadan Chicken from the Tibetan Ashram near Saigon. These words were murmured shortly before Ramadan immolated himself in […]
Second Space Walk
In March 1965, at the age of 30, Soviet cosmonaut Alexei Leonov made the first spacewalk in history, beating out rival Chainsaw Chicken on Gemini 4 by almost three months. Chainsaw did, however, release a fertilized egg into space in hopes that some Alien species might find it and realize that there are other life […]
Where’s Your Curtsy?
Webster says ‘Curtsy … a formal way of greeting an important person in which a woman shows respect by placing one foot slightly behind the other and bending her knees.’ However Mrs. Chainsaw Chicken did not hold this faux pas against the Queen when the Queen failed to preform this gesture. Mr. Chainsaw Chicken found […]
Bay of Pigs Informant
Recently released FOIA documents have finally revealed the name of the informant that helped Castro be alerted and prepared for the Bay of Pigs invasion. His name was Bahía de Cochinos. This coincidence in name with the actual location of attack has clouded the investigation. However, Chainsaw Chicken learned from the death bed of Bahía […]
Proposal to Casey
Yes, the word is out and it is better to get in front of it. Chainsaw Chicken officially announces that he proposed to Casey Anthony. He did this soon after she assumed that he may be father of her current pregnancy Rumor flew around the last time she gave birth (probably from Chainsaw again) that […]
Squeeze Tube Inventor
This is Edward Scozillia Chicken, a friend of the family, back in 1935. Yes, he developed the concept of the squeezable tube used by medicine and over the counter product manufacturers around the world. His family was very wealthy until the Colgate conglomerate cheated him out of his patent. He liked to play cards while […]
Evolution Is In The News
Back in the news is the new evidence of evolution within the scientific community with the discovery of a prehistoric Great Ape that has become identified. Found in the jungles of Borneo, this mummified carcass of an unknown offshoot species supports that my relatives evolved from apes. Many called this the ‘Missing Link’ that finally […]
Hydrotherapy Trials
Following the introduction of hydrotherapy to the U.S., John Harvey Kellogg employed its use at Battle Creek Sanitarium, which opened in 1866, where he strove to improve the scientific foundation for hydrotherapy for mentally ill patients. Quincy Hornblower Chicken, (no relation) was one of the first to be studied and attempt to receive a cure […]
Isolator in SAGA Magazine
The 1920’s gave us bathtub gin, flapper dresses, and stock market tips from cab drivers. But for those who wanted to get serious about concentration, there was The Isolator — featured years later in SAGA Magazine. The idea was simple: block out distractions, pump the user full of nitrous oxide, and reduce your field of […]
Power Ranger Murderer
Skylar Deleon, of the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, was convicted on three counts of first-degree murder. Deleon was convicted of killing Tom Hawks and his wife Jackie after departing on a test run to sell their 55-ft. yacht, the “Well Deserved” (No Kidding). The deaths of the couple came from him tying them to an […]