Skip to main content

Chainsaw Gets 33rd Degree

Chainsaw Gets 33rd Degree

In a surprise ceremony at Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd, Chainsaw was so astonish to learn that he had been awarded the honors of a 33rd Degree Freemason of the Scottish Rite. With that, comes membership in the Illuminati as well as New World Order using Build Back Better. Who would have known that the lunch […]

Nun for me!

Nun for me!

Henrietta Pluck was always the kind of girl that seemed to be a trouble magnet. In middle school she was involved in a money scandal when she ran the student store and was accused of skimming alittle something off everything she sold. Suddenly, a 5 cent pencil was a quarter. College rule notebook paper doubled […]

Genocide Games Zamboni

Genocide Games Zamboni

Have you been watching the Genocide Olympic Games from Beijing? Have you noticed how smooth and flawless the ice is? After all those skaters from hockey or ice dancing cutting grooves it can be pretty tricky for the competitors. They don’t show it much on the coverage but you should know that it’s Chainsaw Chicken […]

New Mandate to Obey!

New Mandate to Obey!

“Hello and thank you all for attending this zoom corporate call transmitted world wide to all the Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd, facilities, branch offices, remote locations and those of you who are working from home” said Chainsaw. “As the CEO and President of Chainsaw Chicken International and having well over 100 employees, we are subject […]

Ombudsman Statement

Ombudsman Statement

“Let me introduce myself. My name is Theodor T. Turkey. You can call me Tom,… Tom Turkey. I am the required Ombudsman appointed by the Internet Counsel of Blogging Standards.  Yes… We call it I.C.B.S. while some refer to us as I see Bull S*it.” “The typical duties of an ombudsman are to investigate complaints […]

New Psychic Network

New Psychic Network

I’m sure you’ve seen the billboards and late night TV commercials for the New Psychic Network. Chainsaw launched a new enterprise this year because of all the unpredictable things happening to everyone. Now, you can give Chainsaw a visit to put those important matters to rest. You can walk away confidently knowing you have all […]

Crossing State Lines

Crossing State Lines

He’s crossing State lines! Yes! Chainsaw is crossing State lines! Quick! Call the alphabet media! You have trouble watching any news broadcast that doesn’t seem to include that line. Especially when it’s about something linked to an opposing political point of view. But as Chainsaw points out, what if we applied this standard to other […]

New lobby sign

New lobby sign

Following the lead of oh so many corporations and major businesses, Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd has taken to updating and posting a new ‘credo’ that is a statement as to the beliefs held by the corporation. We place a very large framed poster welcoming all those that venture into the lobby of our web site. […]

New Twitter Blue

New Twitter Blue

Chainsaw received an unrequested email the other day about Twitter Blue. Twitter’s latest attempt to upgrade its self. Here it is.. “Are you ready to take Twitter to the next level? Meet Twitter Blue. The Twitter experience you’ve been dreaming of has finally landed. Welcome to Twitter Blue: a premium feature subscription that gives you […]

Justice and Equity

Justice and Equity

Justice and Equity. Yes… two of the hot buzz words floating around in school, the media, even in some churches. Finally, I can see how ‘Justice’ and ‘Equity‘ can be applied to my life. Want to know how? Justice, in my case, is the world running out of chicken parts for restaurants and fast food. […]

Lower your expectations

Lower your expectations

At yesterday’s White House Press Conference, Chainsaw waited and waited to be called on. After all the usual media sources got their slow pitch of softball questions, finally some reporter got to ask a question about the shortages happening around the country. He mentioned refrigerators, dishwashers, washing machines, treadmills and so on. Ms. Psaki gave […]

Get your FAKE chicken!

Get your FAKE chicken!

Fake Chicken? Yes… Chicken made from plant protein. MMmm mm Good! It’s so good, Chainsaw has dedicated all his free time to promote the alternative of using fake chicken rather than slaughtering his family members. ” We have to do something about the systematic extermination of all those that look like me. Next we have […]

Chick Kopi Luwak

Chick Kopi Luwak

Have you heard of Kopi Luwak coffee? Sure you have. It’s the coffee beans that originated in a coffee berry that monkeys and critters eat, then they poop in out. The beans are harvested from their excrement, washed and sold for as much as $1600 a pound. Well, Chainsaw Chicken saw an opportunity just waiting […]

More Infringement

More Infringement

Another ‘compliment’ to the name of Chainsaw Chicken. In fact, they stole the name from a famous t-shirt we offered first back in 2017 and again in an entry on this site in 2019. I can’t tell you how ‘thrilled’ I am about this punk rock band choosing to ignore  copyright law just so they […]

Is it a compliment?

Is it a compliment?

Oscar Wilde famously said, “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness.” The first part of that quote is popular but the latter is more fitting. The list of others trying to leverage the name “Chainsaw Chicken” is growing. With the popularity of my site and the ignorance of others […]

Message from the CEO

Message from the CEO

An open letter from the Chairman of Chainsaw Chicken International, LTD. Hello and thank you to all our faithful readers. In the light of all the international companies that have chosen to align themself with the notion of ‘equity‘, we, the same as other companies, in order to better represent the demographic mix of the […]