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psycho-anal-ass

psycho-anal-ass

My doctor suggested that we try a new style of mental therapy. I believe he said it is something like ‘psycho-anal-ass’. Never heard of it before. Sounds like there will be some very personal discussion. I remember that Alfred Hichcock movie ‘Psycho’. Creepy movie, for sure. But I don’t have my mother sitting in a […]

The Real Billy Jack

The Real Billy Jack

Some of you may have heard the name Billy Jack. There may be a few of you that suffered through the series of movies created leveraging the name Billy Jack. But who was Billy Jack? There are some that claim he was a half-breed Navajo and German vagrant, discharged from an elite military unit defending […]

He’s a Quack!

He’s a Quack!

“Good morning… Mr…uhhh… Chicken. What brings you in today?” questioned the ‘on call’ doctor . “Well Doc,” Chainsaw began to speak as he rested on the paper covered exam table. “It’s like this. For the last several days I have been feeling like my gizzard in out of whack. It’s not working as it should.” […]

Lord of the dance

Lord of the dance

When Irish dancer Michael Flatley once said, “Everyone in the world will tell you, ‘No, it can’t be done.’ Every time I hear that, I know I’m close to success.” “That’s good enough for me” stated Chainsaw Chicken after playing a VHS tape of Lord of the Dance he found at a local garage sale. […]

New Psychic Network

New Psychic Network

I’m sure you’ve seen the billboards and late night TV commercials for the New Psychic Network. Chainsaw launched a new enterprise this year because of all the unpredictable things happening to everyone. Now, you can give Chainsaw a visit to put those important matters to rest. You can walk away confidently knowing you have all […]

Pre-Havana Syndrome

Pre-Havana Syndrome

Chainsaw was suffering from a typical headache. He had them most of his life. As he leaned back in his easy chair and tried to relax, his thoughts went back to that old black and white T.V. commercial for Anacin Aspirin. He remembered watching them as a kid always seeing it while watching “Voyage to […]

Rescue Fortune Cookie

Rescue Fortune Cookie

Have you seen this on the news? A rash of fortune cookies with a distressing message hidden inside. Hundreds of Chinese restaurants have tried to explain to their customers that this message must be some kind of joke. But the International Human Rights Commission thinks that it’s no joke. “When a customer at a restaurant […]

I am so offended!

I am so offended!

Yes… Very offended! How do I get the cancel culture to respond to this horrible attack on my person with this hideous song propagated on YouTube? Oh, if this was about some Chicken that was sexually fluid or had crossed into the United States by illegal means they would be covering the story on all […]

Enrollment Period – Again

Enrollment Period – Again

I know you’ve noticed. Everyone see’s ’em. Several times a day and night various celebrities appear on a screen telling you it’s Enrollment Period – Again! These once famous personalities state that they can get you so many new benefits if you contact them for a free review. We’ve seen sports legends and old TV […]

Ice Skating Sweetheart

Ice Skating Sweetheart

Despite the new Olympic boycott of U.S. diplomats, Ice Skating Sweetheart, Tonya Chicken, prepares for her debut in Beijing Olympics. Mrs. Chicken is so proud of her niece qualifying for the individual trophy in ice dancing.  Traditionally, ice dancing is done in pairs. This is a new event for the Winter Olympics. Each four years […]

People’s Choice Winner

People’s Choice Winner

With the lowest viewership ever recorded, it’s a safe bet to assume that you didn’t see I won my People’s Choice Award tonight. As I entered the lobby walking to the auditorium, there were no media hosts or even fans trying to get a snapshot. No interviews or even a question shouted. If fact, I […]