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Bringing Back Walt

Bringing Back Walt

In a somewhat predictable move today, the largest minority share holders of Disney stock (DIS) have hired Dr. DeBakie Chicken to manage a controversial move. What move? It seems that this minority block has persuaded a Disney employee to remove the frozen head of Walt Disney from the cryogenic vault below Disneyland where the founders […]

“Looking at Uranus” Closes

“Looking at Uranus” Closes

“Looking at Uranus”, is a Broadway play based the life of Astronomer William ‘Eggs’ Herschel, who discovered the planet Uranus in 1781. There was  much anticipation for the opening of this period piece musical. In the light of the success of ‘Hamilton’, it seemed justified. While the major players were generally unknown, Chainsaw Chicken was […]

Romper Room Romance

Romper Room Romance

I always thought Miss Nancy never ‘smacked wise’ to my Romper Room Romance. I was a crafty devil with little Sara Leghorn. She was my very first, real life girlfriend. Our days on Romper Room went by with just a wiz of time. She sit there all pretty and calm. I would keep turning my […]

Shari Lewis & Cacciatore

Shari Lewis & Cacciatore

After Shari Lewis (born Phyllis Naomi Hurwitz) did her guest appearance on the Captain Kangaroo Show,  things really started to change. As a ventriloquist and puppeteer, she was making some more appearances on other shows such as Howdy Doody, Car 54-Where Are You?, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., and Love-American Style, talent agents suggested that she […]

Acoustic Genius

Acoustic Genius

So many people know Chainsaw Chicken as a leader of his namesake company as well as a successful historian and editorial blogger. But now, to the surprise to some of his detractors, he is an accomplished acoustic genius. His talent is so vast and accomplished that he developed a special guitar with a second neck […]

You quarantined for me?

You quarantined for me?

You went through quarantine for me? You sat in a windowless room, ate frozen TV dinners, showered 3 times a day, wore gloves and a mask 24 hours a day, used alcohol based scrubs on your hands once an hour – every hour – unless using the rest room, then once before you start and […]

Ombudsman Statement

Ombudsman Statement

“Let me introduce myself. My name is Theodor T. Turkey. You can call me Tom,… Tom Turkey. I am the required Ombudsman appointed by the Internet Counsel of Blogging Standards.  Yes… We call it I.C.B.S. while some refer to us as I see Bull S*it.” “The typical duties of an ombudsman are to investigate complaints […]

Mass Formation Psychosis

Mass Formation Psychosis

Mass formation psychosis? What is it? Let me put it to you in the form a metaphor. Imagine you are in a theater audience about to enjoy a performance of some magician that is an Alec Baldwin doppelganger. As you sit in the audience, ‘The Great Alec’ began with some simple magic, like ‘rabbit in […]

psycho-anal-ass

psycho-anal-ass

My doctor suggested that we try a new style of mental therapy. I believe he said it is something like ‘psycho-anal-ass’. Never heard of it before. Sounds like there will be some very personal discussion. I remember that Alfred Hichcock movie ‘Psycho’. Creepy movie, for sure. But I don’t have my mother sitting in a […]

Lord of the dance

Lord of the dance

When Irish dancer Michael Flatley once said, “Everyone in the world will tell you, ‘No, it can’t be done.’ Every time I hear that, I know I’m close to success.” “That’s good enough for me” stated Chainsaw Chicken after playing a VHS tape of Lord of the Dance he found at a local garage sale. […]

Rescue Fortune Cookie

Rescue Fortune Cookie

Have you seen this on the news? A rash of fortune cookies with a distressing message hidden inside. Hundreds of Chinese restaurants have tried to explain to their customers that this message must be some kind of joke. But the International Human Rights Commission thinks that it’s no joke. “When a customer at a restaurant […]

Enrollment Period – Again

Enrollment Period – Again

I know you’ve noticed. Everyone see’s ’em. Several times a day and night various celebrities appear on a screen telling you it’s Enrollment Period – Again! These once famous personalities state that they can get you so many new benefits if you contact them for a free review. We’ve seen sports legends and old TV […]

People’s Choice Winner

People’s Choice Winner

With the lowest viewership ever recorded, it’s a safe bet to assume that you didn’t see I won my People’s Choice Award tonight. As I entered the lobby walking to the auditorium, there were no media hosts or even fans trying to get a snapshot. No interviews or even a question shouted. If fact, I […]

New Chainsaw 8-Ball

New Chainsaw 8-Ball

It’s about time. In an agreement with Mattel, Chainsaw has introduced a new version of their classic ‘Magic 8-Ball’. Many of us remember friends sitting around cross-legged in a circle. Each of us taking our turn asking the magic ball a deep and secret question out loud, then inverting the ball to see the answer […]

Throuple Pics Discovered

Throuple Pics Discovered

Somehow, someway, someone released these private pictures taken during our… ahh….my…ahh… sleepover. I had invited Daisy Duck and Chicken Little for some drinks and kicks. We have done this before but Daisy said she wanted to have some throuple pics she could use to torment Donald, her husband. It seems Daisy and Donald had developed […]

My Show Got Cancelled

My Show Got Cancelled

I had a brilliant idea. You know that Hollywood has its’ own version of physics principle “The Law of Conservation” where it states that energy (in this case original entertainment ideas) can change from one form into another, but it cannot be created or destroyed. So I pitched an idea that seemed to fit their […]

The Tribe Has Spoken

The Tribe Has Spoken

Were you watching? It was the first episode of Survivor recently. It was like the 87th season or something. At least this time they didn’t drag out the same old tired winners from the past to recycle them through the grinder for another season of drama, strategy, lying, backstabbing and out-n-out greed. Seems like the […]

Turkey Invasion

Turkey Invasion

It was a Turkey Invasion at my uncle’s home! What a slaughter! My uncle, George ‘Patton‘ Chicken knew how to deal with the intruders. With his home defense bat in the ready position you could hear him say… “When you put your hand in a pile of goo that used to be your buddy’s face….” […]