People are always asking where Chainsaw Chicken learned to play guitar. The answer is simple: the beach. This photograph was taken during Chainsaw’s brief but influential period with a little-known California folk group called The Beach Bums. They never actually recorded an album, mostly because nobody could agree on who was supposed to sing lead, […]
Dolly Parton — An Old Friend
I was saddened to hear about the passing of my old friend Dolly Parton. I first met Dolly many years ago, back when Chainsaw Chicken was just getting started. I was backstage at the Burt Reynolds Dinner Theatre and Alligator Ranch in Florida when Dolly spotted me. She stopped, looked me over for a moment, […]
Yogi, is that you?
I was taking a nature walk in the mountains of Idaho during my summer vacation. It was a beautiful day—comfortable weather, bright sunshine, birds chirping, and somewhere in the distance I could hear a small creek happily bubbling along. As the trail wound through the woods, I rounded a bend and spotted a bear digging […]
Hollywood Boulevard
Mrs. Chicken and I visited Los Angeles last year. We had a day off, so we wandered down Hollywood Boulevard past Grauman’s Chinese Theatre. People kept walking up to me asking if they could get a selfie. I figured maybe they’d seen one of my videos, so I smiled for the pictures. Then they started […]
White House UFC
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Chainsaw Chicken has announced his participation in the upcoming UFC event at the White House. According to Chainsaw, the invitation arrived several weeks ago. “I don’t generally discuss my athletic achievements,” said Chainsaw. “I prefer to let others discuss them because I don’t have any.” The historic event is expected to draw […]
’68 Pilot-Standards & Practices
The 1968 Pilot Standards & Practices Tried to Bury By Elias Thorne, Media Historian | May 13, 2026 In the late ’60s, television was drowning in “monster-coms.” But internal memos from a defunct CBS production wing reveal one attempt so fundamentally unsettling it was scrubbed from the record before a single episode aired. The project, […]
The Other Side of the Mask
A companion to “The Man Behind the Mask” The preceding review offers a perceptive analysis of the artistic core of Adventures of Chainsaw Chicken — its unwavering sincerity, deadpan visual language, layered satire, and long-term creative vision. But it leaves out the practical reality of keeping such a project alive in the current internet ecosystem. […]
The Forth Be With You
Chainsaw woke early. Something felt coordinated.By 8:02, six texts. By 8:05, an email from his boss. By 8:10, even the spam had joined the cult. The mailman held eye contact too long, performance-review style. “May the Fourth be with you.” Chainsaw nodded like a man being sized for corporate re-education. He’d always hated enforced merriment […]
Mask detected. Trust denied
There’s a particular kind of fatigue that comes from explaining yourself to something that already decided you don’t exist. I made a video. Veo made a video.A man in a suit, wearing a rubber chicken mask, sitting in a room full of blinking screens and rejection slips. “AUTHORITATIVENESS: INSUFFICIENT.”“TRUST SIGNAL: MASK DETECTED.” Overall compliance: 99%. […]
The Man Behind the Mask
Editor’s Note: I asked an AI to critically review Adventures of Chainsaw Chicken based on the written themes, structure, philosophy, and public materials of the site. The essay below is its independent response. There is a particular kind of vertigo that comes from discovering something substantial that seems as though it should already be widely […]