How many years have people been saying, “I’ll just put it on eBay and sell it”? For a long time, it sounded simple. It became so popular there were even real brick-and-mortar stores that would take your item, list it, sell it, and hand you the money after their cut. That’s how easy it seemed. […]
DTF Chainsaw
Chainsaw Chicken stood in the hallway, holding a small cardboard package. He read the label again.“Amazon.” He nodded once.“That part checks out.” The bedroom door was slightly open. Warm light spilled into the hallway.On the floor beside him, the package had already been opened. A book rested halfway out of the bag: “The Amazon Position” […]
Chainsaw on the View
Chainsaw Chicken arrived five minutes early. He sat calmly at the round table with a small stack of index cards in front of him, smiling pleasantly while producers whispered near the cameras. The hosts entered together. They had already read the posts. Whoopi leaned forward first. “Chainsaw… we invited you here because some of your […]
Blood Moon Event
I guess you’ve heard about it. That lunar phase they call the “Blood Moon.” The moon seems to collect names like a traveling carnival:Harvest Moon, Blue Moon, Super Moon, Wolf Moon, Snow Moon… all of them waxing and waning through the calendar. But the Blood Moon… That one stirs something in me. Oh, there it […]
What is Satire? There’s Layers?
Here’s a clean ladder version: Layer 1 — The gag – What you think this isImmediate humor. Visual or verbal punchline. Layer 2 — Irony – Why it feels slightly wrongSituation contradicts expectation. Layer 3 — Social satire – Oh this is about me?Commentary on behavior, trends, institutions. Layer 4 — Meta satire – Structure […]
Fishing the Quiet Potomac
Chainsaw chose the location with care, research, and a folded brochure he found in a glove compartment three years ago. “This,” he said, planting his lawn chair with conviction, “is exactly where Washington crossed the Potomac in that famous painting.” He pointed at the river with authority. The river responded by foaming. He adjusted his […]
Vogued Chainsaw
(In the spirit of the recent Vogue story of Gov. Newsom) Let’s get this out of the way: He is impeccably arranged. Nothing about him appears accidental, including the accidents he overcame early in life, which now seem thoughtfully placed in retrospect. His hair shows experience at the edges, like a distinguished document. He stands […]
Award Season Again
Chainsaw Chicken did not seek out the Golden Globe Awards.Nor did he linger. He attended because an invitation arrived, and ignoring it felt like the sort of thing that would eventually require explaining. Explaining, Chainsaw had learned, rarely improved outcomes with Mrs. Chicken. He was accompanied by a woman whose name he did not repeat […]
Goodbye Dilbert
I didn’t know Scott Adams.He certainly didn’t know me. But for years, I knew of him — the way many of us did — through a small daily rectangle that quietly said things most workplaces preferred not to hear out loud. Dilbert worked because it wasn’t loud. It didn’t shout. It observed. It noticed the […]
Internal Matter-Nothing to see
I wasn’t involved directly. That’s important to say up front. When you reach a certain point, people assume you are involved, even when you’re just standing nearby with your hands in your pockets, trying not to make things complicated. I’ve learned that clarity helps. This was an internal matter. One of our senior enforcement officers […]