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Mech-Chicken 2021

Mech-Chicken 2021

Chainsaw Chicken was happy to take possession of a new prototype Artificial Intelligence equipped robot from MIT. The A.I. department has dubbed it “Mech-Chicken”. Mrs. Chicken, was visibly pleased saying, “Oh my word:. Do I have plans for you!”     Transhumanism for me!

Crime Out of Control

Crime Out of Control

Crime is out of control. Look at the latest tragedy.  One of my dear sweet cousins joined the ranks of the cult-like, ritualistic slaughter of chicken for this summer. My cousin was so consumed by the heat of the flames that all distinguishing traits were destroyed. We can’t even tell the sex. “This will probably […]

Evolution Disturbed

Evolution Disturbed

Scientist and evolutionist were elated when they heard that a huge block of ice was discovered that encased a prehistoric cave man. It was found at the foot of the glacier out-cropping near Yellowstone Park. Just as suddenly they were mystified and dismayed when they learned that the totally preserved. The fully encased body was […]

Bigfoot Drumsticks

Bigfoot Drumsticks

There was little press coverage when a coalition of photographic professionals from NASA as well as experts from Chainsaw Chicken International, LTD announced the results of a digital computerized study of the famous Roger Patterson image of Bigfoot taken on 1967 in Northern California. Recently, claims have been made that the encounter filmed was a […]

Gain of Function

Gain of Function

With all the talk of ‘Gain of Function” discussion going on, the world has learned a few new and startling facts. While visiting the other food market in Wuhan, China, called the ‘Moist Store’, similar to the infamous ‘Wet Market’, Chainsaw Chicken was approached by representatives of The Wuhan Institute of Virology to participate in […]

CDC “Don’t Kiss Chickens”

CDC “Don’t Kiss Chickens”

The CDC warned that poultry owners should take special precautions when handling their animals after 163 confirmed cases of salmonella were reported in 43 states. “Don’t kiss or snuggle backyard poultry, and don’t eat or drink around them.” That does it! Do I tell Dr. Rochelle Walensky who she gets to make out with? Does […]

And then, Cisgender

And then, Cisgender

And then I got another message from my doctor. This time it was something called cisgender. Oh no. Not CISGENDER! Anything but THAT! But what is it? I quickly ordered the latest edition on woke-ism from Amazon, and with my Prime account I got it within 2 weeks. I immediately opened up to the “S” […]

Intersectionality Test

Intersectionality Test

Woke affliction number 2; Then, the same doctor that said I had acquired impostor syndrome, sent me another message on his private medical site with results of some of my other tests. He said, “Intersectionality is an analytical framework for understanding how aspects of a person’s social and political identities combine to create different modes […]

I Got Impostor Syndrome

I Got Impostor Syndrome

My first woke aliment: The diagnosis is in. I have a case of the most diagnosed social behavioral condition identified in the last year. The dreaded Impostor syndrome. My doctor sent me a message on his private client website saying the following: “Impostor syndrome is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, […]

Chaingun Chicken

Chaingun Chicken

The U.S. Navy and Chainsaw Chicken have reached a licensing agreement to use Chainsaw’s likeness in their new emblem and logo called ‘Chaingun Chicken’ for the Navy’s new fast attack boats that also qualify for the Green New Deal specifications. The Navy came to Chainsaw because of his popular image involves strength and ability as […]

Covid Entertainer

Covid Entertainer

***PRESS RELEASE*** In an effort to try to get back to ‘Normal’ rather than living with a ‘New Normal‘ as well as to try to make people more comfortable with the aspect of Covid in everyday life, Mrs. Chicken has decided to relaunch her entertainment career. She is now doing song and dance numbers to […]

Urine for more

Urine for more

Analytical study comes rather easy for Chainsaw Chicken. While others seem to struggle with any thinking outside the box, Chainsaw loves the thought of roaming around the box or the sand that’s piled up within it. With the influence of ethno-science, ethno-mathmatics and even ethno-ludicrosity, (frankly, anything ‘ethno’ so we all have ‘equity’), the question […]

Black light treatment

Black light treatment

Several years ago it was thought that exposing the young to black light rays would ease their transition with the painful development of their pin feathers. Years later, it became more obvious that all the black light did was allow them to develop fuller, thicker, more glorious feathers but did not aid in the pin […]

Barnyard Fizzy

Barnyard Fizzy

  It didn’t seem to hit the papers or TV but it apears that Bayer let the “Speedy Alka Seltzer” mascot character’s copyright slide. So Chainsaw scoped up the image and modified it to be more up to date. We would now like to introduce ‘Fizzy’ the ‘Barn Yard Seltzer” guy. Our Barn yard seltzer […]

Creation of Dinochick

Creation of Dinochick

“Michael Crichton got it all wrong, I mean way wrong!” Stated Biologist Dr. Jockkim Pollo, director of Bio Research at Chainsaw Chicken International, LTD. “I mean really? Frog DNA? You need to use CHICKEN DNA”. He says this based on the latest theory that dinosaurs are suggested to be closer to birds rather than amphibians […]

Chicken Regression

Chicken Regression

I have been told many times that I need therapy so I decided to go through it using  regression therapy especially after my neighbor told me abosut what happened when he did it. Seems the ‘Doctor’ found out that Bob was once  Maximinus Thrax, also known as Maximinus the First, the emperor of Rome from […]

Too Much Lock Down

Too Much Lock Down

Those Chicken boys, Ricky and Dicky, have been in a Covid lock down way too long. Or Maybe their mother is the one that has been locked down too long? You decide. Month after month of  ‘Stay indoors’, ‘Don’t go outside’, ‘kid’s can’t go to school’. The boys are goin’ crazy. If you take the […]

The Swami Knows

The Swami Knows

Come… Be seated… Calm your mind… Stare into the sphere of future events with me… Do you see it? Hold still… Concentrate… Think of what stirs your sub-conscience. Yes… YES! You feel it too, don’t you? Yes! The answer is streaming into your consciousness. There… Now you have it! The answer to what you seek […]

Greta Thunberg’s Sister

Greta Thunberg’s Sister

While the world focuses on Swedish environmentalist Greta Thunberg, there is a growing popularity watching her other sister, Uhla. Uhla has a talent, with the aide of harnessing the substance called DMT (N,N-Dimethyltryptamine). This ‘class 1’ substance, taken in large amounts, enables the user to communicate with entities in hyperspace. That’s right! Those of another […]