From Compost Cereals, the makers of ‘Colon Blow’, now brings you a new breakfast treat called ‘Barn Yard Flakes’. Yes… You too can get that daily need of dried residue from our corporate facilities. Scrape up a heaping bowl of new ‘Barn Yard Flakes’ breakfast cereal, sit back and work your way threw all the […]
Secret Decoder Ring
Ever notice how confusing and disconnected some political people can be in their speeches and press conferences? I tried and tried to really understand their statements. I would take the key sentence and diagram it on a white board so I could get the full meaning of what was being expressed. But alas, I just […]
Nun for me!
Henrietta Pluck was always the kind of girl that seemed to be a trouble magnet. In middle school she was involved in a money scandal when she ran the student store and was accused of skimming alittle something off everything she sold. Suddenly, a 5 cent pencil was a quarter. College rule notebook paper doubled […]
Poultry Pugilist
Here’s a piece of sports trivia that most do not know. A Poultry Pugilist. Between the years of 1909 to 1913, Henry ‘Bantam’ Roosterio was the champion of Bare Knuckle Fighting. His record was 178 wins and one loss. Most of these fights were held in abandoned warehouses, open parking lots and in some barn […]
Skippy & Scooter Luge
Little did we know that after recently celebrating the blessed wedding of Scooter and Skippy, we would get a glimpse of their honeymoon. It seems that the two have slipped under the radar and were actually members of the U.S. Olympic team that headed for the Genocide Olympic Games from Beijing. Their event is the […]
I am a Triplet
I am a Triplet. I know. We all look identical because we are. You can really tell we’re brothers. That’s me on the left. That’s Ichabod is on the right. He’s a life coach. Aloysius is in the center. He’s the local MMA featherweight Champion. I like to think that I’m the ladies man but […]
Romper Room Romance
I always thought Miss Nancy never ‘smacked wise’ to my Romper Room Romance. I was a crafty devil with little Sara Leghorn. She was my very first, real life girlfriend. Our days on Romper Room went by with just a wiz of time. She sit there all pretty and calm. I would keep turning my […]
Genocide Games Zamboni
Have you been watching the Genocide Olympic Games from Beijing? Have you noticed how smooth and flawless the ice is? After all those skaters from hockey or ice dancing cutting grooves it can be pretty tricky for the competitors. They don’t show it much on the coverage but you should know that it’s Chainsaw Chicken […]
Chicken Crime Scene?
The reporters heard the call over the police band radios. “We have a possible 10-54d (Possible dead body) at the end of Main street on the west side. Please 10-55d (Send coroner) to the location.” Within minutes there was a pool of of media vultures taking picture of my poor friend Roscoe Pullet. He was […]
Trans Antarctic Tour Stalled
You may have seen this on the evening news but here is an update. The ‘Trans Antarctic Tour’ has run into some difficulty on it trek to visit the many manned weather stations in the antarctic. “It seems that our driver ran across an ice crevasse stranding the tracked snow vehicle in a precarious position” […]