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Successful Dating

Successful Dating

Dating can be very tricky now days. I see the very high frustration level on the other men’s faces, siting alone as I am in the back corner booth with my posse. While others worry about swipe right or left with online dating, I have learned what really works and keeps the ladies coming back, […]

“Chicken Hawk” captured

“Chicken Hawk” captured

The assassin-spy known as “Carlos the Chicken Hawk” has finally been captured. He was visiting some friends through the fence at the Foster Farms retention area where he was apprehended. He initially identifying himself a someone name Bruce Biden, a close cousin to President Biden. It was later learned that he was actually Carlos Chicken. […]

I’m Now on a Stamp

I’m Now on a Stamp

News arrived today that the country called “the United Democracy of Kyrgyzstan” has agreed to offer a commemorative stamp in my honor. What an honor! The way it happened is like this. One of my cousins is a big time smuggler. He was in Kyrgyzstan picking up a pocket full of giant-sized topaz jewels ftom […]

Crime Out of Control

Crime Out of Control

Crime is out of control. Look at the latest tragedy.  One of my dear sweet cousins joined the ranks of the cult-like, ritualistic slaughter of chicken for this summer. My cousin was so consumed by the heat of the flames that all distinguishing traits were destroyed. We can’t even tell the sex. “This will probably […]

Evolution Disturbed

Evolution Disturbed

Scientist and evolutionist were elated when they heard that a huge block of ice was discovered that encased a prehistoric cave man. It was found at the foot of the glacier out-cropping near Yellowstone Park. Just as suddenly they were mystified and dismayed when they learned that the totally preserved. The fully encased body was […]

Stool Pigeon

Stool Pigeon

They are after me! They are using any method they can to get me. Just like the Attorney General of New York has been quoted to say, “Show me the man, I’ll show you the crime!” This “Stool Pigeon” just kept spewing all kinds of indictments about me! I’ve heard he said things like; “He’s […]

Baron von Chickthofen

Baron von Chickthofen

With the death of Manfred von Richthofen, known to the world as “The Red Baron”, Germany needed another hero.  The shame of the ‘Red Baron’ being downed by some comic strip dog named ‘Snoopy’ flying his doghouse killing our best pilot and the world universally accepting this obvious propaganda plot required a desperate response. In […]

Ridin’ that Train

Ridin’ that Train

Many have heard the faithful tale of when, on April 30th, in 1900, at Vaughan, Mississippi, Casey Jones died while trying to slow down his train that crashed into another train, killing him but saving his passengers. Songs where sung and stories where told glorifying is exploits. Ever wonder who was the engineer on the […]

Reagan said it first

Reagan said it first

Do you remember when President Reagan said “”With all this manure,” the little boy replied, beaming, “there must be a pony in here somewhere!” Well, Phineas Chicken decided to check out this theory so he headed to D.C. in the hopes of finding a pile of manure. Where else would expect to find a vast […]

Have Gun Will Cluck

Have Gun Will Cluck

It’s new series season again. Chainsaw Chicken has developed a concept package that he has been offering which flashes back to when Westerns were so popular on the small screen. Chainsaw takes literary license by borrowing from several previously successful shows, tosses them into a visual blender, spins on 12 for a minute and then […]

Chaingun Chicken

Chaingun Chicken

The U.S. Navy and Chainsaw Chicken have reached a licensing agreement to use Chainsaw’s likeness in their new emblem and logo called ‘Chaingun Chicken’ for the Navy’s new fast attack boats that also qualify for the Green New Deal specifications. The Navy came to Chainsaw because of his popular image involves strength and ability as […]

Chicken-dactyl Called Foo

Chicken-dactyl Called Foo

Tragedy struck the cold case team attempting to reconstruct the 1961 disappearance of Michael Rockefeller. He was the fifth child of Nelson Rockefeller and one of the heirs to the Rockefeller dynasty. All this mystery centered around Papua, New Guinea. Michael was obstensively going to study the Asmat tribe, because they were some of the […]

Black light treatment

Black light treatment

Several years ago it was thought that exposing the young to black light rays would ease their transition with the painful development of their pin feathers. Years later, it became more obvious that all the black light did was allow them to develop fuller, thicker, more glorious feathers but did not aid in the pin […]

Seminary Class 2021

Seminary Class 2021

This years graduating class from the exclusive Order of the Dark Priests filed out to be seen for the first time in their exquisite robes. Each of these emerging priests have been trained in the book of Enoch and other dark arts. Rasputin Chicken was the Salutatorian of the class while Giuseppe Alister was the […]

Creation of Dinochick

Creation of Dinochick

“Michael Crichton got it all wrong, I mean way wrong!” Stated Biologist Dr. Jockkim Pollo, director of Bio Research at Chainsaw Chicken International, LTD. “I mean really? Frog DNA? You need to use CHICKEN DNA”. He says this based on the latest theory that dinosaurs are suggested to be closer to birds rather than amphibians […]

Nessy alive and well

Nessy alive and well

Finally I have proof that the Lock Ness Monster, called affectionately ‘Nessy’, is alive and well and gives one heck of a ride. Last week, when I was doing my book tour in Scotland, I took a detour to the ‘Lock’ and dawned my wet suit. I took off swimming with the faint hope of […]

Cowabunga Dude!

Cowabunga Dude!

“Oh righteous, my brothers!” could be heard by La Jolla Chicken as he finished his set in the 1951 Long Board surfing competition off the sands of Manhattan Beach, California. “Did  you feel that curl? Totally Tubular” he continued, “Cowabunga”. But where did the term cowabunga come from? Now you know. Some give credit for […]

Solway Firth Solved

Solway Firth Solved

appear This famous photograph referred to as ‘Solway Firth Spaceman‘ is classified as one of the strangest, unsolved mysteries ever photographed. In 1964, in Solway Firth, England, a father took a nice photo of his daughter enjoying a picnic in a field. Just the two of them. They were alone. But when the film was […]

Chainsaw Chicken Area

Chainsaw Chicken Area

No, it’s not an autonomous zone like CHAZ or George Floyd Square. It’s a popularized expression of a community awareness. Groups who mutually gather with a common joy of a single thought or concept. But they don’t block others from entering or exposing those less aware to the idea. All skin colors, ethnicity, races, creeds, […]