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Chainsaw Gets 33rd Degree

Chainsaw Gets 33rd Degree

In a surprise ceremony at Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd, Chainsaw was so astonish to learn that he had been awarded the honors of a 33rd Degree Freemason of the Scottish Rite. With that, comes membership in the Illuminati as well as New World Order using Build Back Better. Who would have known that the lunch […]

The last known Yhicken

The last known Yhicken

The last known Yhicken Indian, ‘Fri’ was also claimed to be the last “wild” Native American Poultry. A survivor of the 1976 Three Processors Massacre, he was found alone near the processing plant in White Water, Arkansas in 1981 on the verge of death. In August of that year, Fri was placed under supervision of […]

Secret Decoder Ring

Secret Decoder Ring

Ever notice how confusing and disconnected some political people can be in their speeches and press conferences? I tried and tried to really understand their statements. I would take the key sentence and diagram it on a white board so I could get the full meaning of what was being expressed. But alas, I just […]

Nun for me!

Nun for me!

Henrietta Pluck was always the kind of girl that seemed to be a trouble magnet. In middle school she was involved in a money scandal when she ran the student store and was accused of skimming alittle something off everything she sold. Suddenly, a 5 cent pencil was a quarter. College rule notebook paper doubled […]

Poultry Pugilist

Poultry Pugilist

Here’s a piece of sports trivia that most do not know. A Poultry Pugilist. Between the years of 1909 to 1913, Henry ‘Bantam’ Roosterio was the champion of Bare Knuckle Fighting. His record was 178 wins and one loss. Most of these fights were held in abandoned warehouses, open parking lots and in some barn […]

Romper Room Romance

Romper Room Romance

I always thought Miss Nancy never ‘smacked wise’ to my Romper Room Romance. I was a crafty devil with little Sara Leghorn. She was my very first, real life girlfriend. Our days on Romper Room went by with just a wiz of time. She sit there all pretty and calm. I would keep turning my […]

Shari Lewis & Cacciatore

Shari Lewis & Cacciatore

After Shari Lewis (born Phyllis Naomi Hurwitz) did her guest appearance on the Captain Kangaroo Show,  things really started to change. As a ventriloquist and puppeteer, she was making some more appearances on other shows such as Howdy Doody, Car 54-Where Are You?, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., and Love-American Style, talent agents suggested that she […]

Confessions Cover Girl

Confessions Cover Girl

I can remember as a young pullet, I would walk past the magazine stand in the city and see all those Hollywood gossip magazines, detective magazines and soft ‘Men’s’ magazines full of provocative titles and suggestive photos. An example of this was my favorite one called “Exciting Confessions“. Little did I know that the very […]

The Real Billy Jack

The Real Billy Jack

Some of you may have heard the name Billy Jack. There may be a few of you that suffered through the series of movies created leveraging the name Billy Jack. But who was Billy Jack? There are some that claim he was a half-breed Navajo and German vagrant, discharged from an elite military unit defending […]

“Hi” – The Microsoft Way

“Hi” – The Microsoft Way

Recently, Microsoft used the opening of their annual online presentation of  ‘ignite” to exemplify their awareness of their own cultural robbery of the land their campus is located on, then they tried to address the social awareness by setting the standards and giving a descriptions to all whom may be watching. Chainsaw wanted to do […]

D.C. Badboys

D.C. Badboys

If you’ve been around a few years, you’ve heard of them. The D.C. Badboys. Chainsaw assembled this group on his porch one day to reminisce. Now lay back, close your eyes and think of these infamous personalities. We’ve all heard of President Biden’s troublesome son, Hunter Biden. His antics keep Joe in a dither, that […]

The Thinker Discussion

The Thinker Discussion

Chainsaw Chicken was visiting the city gardens with his niece, Rose Blossom Chicken. They came across a replica of ‘The Thinker’ statue prominently centered in the acreage. Both of them stood and gazed at the statue, taking in the details sculpted in the figure. The discussion soon turned to the creative origin of this Rodin […]

Turkey Invasion

Turkey Invasion

It was a Turkey Invasion at my uncle’s home! What a slaughter! My uncle, George ‘Patton‘ Chicken knew how to deal with the intruders. With his home defense bat in the ready position you could hear him say… “When you put your hand in a pile of goo that used to be your buddy’s face….” […]

Tribute Toy

Tribute Toy

If you remember Black and White television, the Beatles visiting New York City or ‘Leave it to Beaver’ on TV, you probably remember the Dipping Bird. Now, back by popular demand, Ronco with K-tel records and Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd is offering a commemorative tribute replica for sale. Granted, we’ve made a few changes. Most […]

Machu Picchu Lawn Service

Machu Picchu Lawn Service

Isn’t Machu Picchu beautiful? The stone and grass make such a pleasing image. But you might be asking, “Grass? At 8,000 feet above sea-level? How curious. That must take a real professional yard service to keep it all looking so neat and trimmed with such color”. Let me introduce to you how these patches of […]

Successful Dating

Successful Dating

Dating can be very tricky now days. I see the very high frustration level on the other men’s faces, siting alone as I am in the back corner booth with my posse. While others worry about swipe right or left with online dating, I have learned what really works and keeps the ladies coming back, […]

“Chicken Hawk” captured

“Chicken Hawk” captured

The assassin-spy known as “Carlos the Chicken Hawk” has finally been captured. He was visiting some friends through the fence at the Foster Farms retention area where he was apprehended. He initially identifying himself a someone name Bruce Biden, a close cousin to President Biden. It was later learned that he was actually Carlos Chicken. […]