The fundamentals of conflict are well established: Man against manMan against GodMan against himself There is now a fourth. Chainsaw against LOGIC
The Eyes of March
Chainsaw Chicken came home from work looking tired. Mrs. Chicken glanced up from the kitchen table. “How’d the promotion go at the mall?” Chainsaw sighed and lowered himself into a chair.“They hired me to promote a mid-March event,” he said. “Marketing said I should do something obviously Roman.” “That makes sense,” she said. “Well, the […]
This Changed Everything
The Day I Won a Hundred Terrible Records (and One That Saved Me) I was thirteen, all elbows and curiosity, tuned to a local AM station that sounded like it was broadcast from inside a coffee can. Every hour they ran a “Name It and Claim It” challenge: be the first caller to identify […]
Goodbye Dilbert
I didn’t know Scott Adams.He certainly didn’t know me. But for years, I knew of him — the way many of us did — through a small daily rectangle that quietly said things most workplaces preferred not to hear out loud. Dilbert worked because it wasn’t loud. It didn’t shout. It observed. It noticed the […]
MK ULTRA Residue
After months and months of therapy with all the small victories and multitudes of setbacks, Chainsaw’s newest therapist, Dr. Jolly West, decided to start doing word association as a meter to the degree of progress treatments have yielded. “Mr. Chicken”, the Dr. shifted in his chair. “We need to do a simple test now and […]
How ‘Bout My Genes?
The Superior fit! “Breaking news from the denim front lines!” Chainsaw Chicken announced while twisting his hips in a pair of spray-painted-on jeans. “Apparently, wearing American Eagle now qualifies you for a slot in the Master Race—at least if you’re Sydney Sweeney and your marketing department forgot what century we’re living in.” Chainsaw spun around, […]
Gill-Mann Amnesia Thoughts
Now before you think I’m referencing something about the Universal Pictures movie “Creature from the Black Lagoon”, I’m not. This is my revelation I wish to pass on to my readers. In a speech in 2002, Michael Crichton coined the term Gell-Mann amnesia effect to describe the phenomenon of experts reading articles within their fields […]
B.O.L.O. Alert!
Authorities are asking for the community’s assistance in identifying and aiding in the apprehension of this individual. So this ‘Be On the Look Out’ warning will help. “Information has come to our attention that he may have been involved in some criminal activities earlier this month” stated chief of operations. When questioned by the reporters […]
Commodore Chicken
The creator of Apple computer products, Steve Jobs and the robotic creator of the line of home computers named after him, Commodore Chicken, listened intensely to Bill Gates. He’s the creator of Microsoft. They hung on every word and phrase as Bill outlined his plans for the rest of the world. “I am going to […]
Mr. DJ, would you play…?
“Hello??? Mr. DJ??? This is Betty Shields. I’m the President of the Malibu League of the Chainsaw Chicken Fan Club”. “Well hello little girl”, the DJ replied. “I wasn’t aware of any club like that. Who’s it for? Some Chicken?” “Oh yes sir!” She exclaimed; “He is very special. At least to us. He is […]