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Instruction Book

Instruction Book

Has this ever happened to you? You are in a casual meeting with other friends or co-works, and they begin to use slang words and expressions you simply do not understand. What do you do? Do you just nod in acceptance to what they are expressing? Do you feel that you want to add to […]

Black light treatment

Black light treatment

Several years ago it was thought that exposing the young to black light rays would ease their transition with the painful development of their pin feathers. Years later, it became more obvious that all the black light did was allow them to develop fuller, thicker, more glorious feathers but did not aid in the pin […]

Barnyard Fizzy

Barnyard Fizzy

  It didn’t seem to hit the papers or TV but it apears that Bayer let the “Speedy Alka Seltzer” mascot character’s copyright slide. So Chainsaw scoped up the image and modified it to be more up to date. We would now like to introduce ‘Fizzy’ the ‘Barn Yard Seltzer” guy. Our Barn yard seltzer […]

Now it’s personal!

Now it’s personal!

I don’t know if I should be honored or upset with what Wendy’s has on the reader sign. “NEW 99¢ CHAINSAW CHICKEN TODDY” What the hell is “TODDY”?  Did they run out of the letter “A”? Is this from someone named Todd with a familia endearment added to his name, signing the statement? And what’s […]

Biden’s First Presser

Biden’s First Presser

Today I tried the new drinking game that is centered around President Biden’s speeches. It works like this. Every time Uncle Joe uses the words, ‘Look’, ‘It’s like this’, ‘c’mon man’ or ‘Give me a break’, you have to take a drink. We were going to do a drink every time he says ‘Uhh’ or […]

Epstein’s Other Painting

Epstein’s Other Painting

Most people have seen the the painting that hung at Jeffrey Epstein‘s retreat in New York that was discovered when he was busted. The press generally made nothing of the painting. Questions came to my mind like, “Did Clinton pose for this painting?” and “How many times did he wear this dress and what is […]

Seminary Class 2021

Seminary Class 2021

This years graduating class from the exclusive Order of the Dark Priests filed out to be seen for the first time in their exquisite robes. Each of these emerging priests have been trained in the book of Enoch and other dark arts. Rasputin Chicken was the Salutatorian of the class while Giuseppe Alister was the […]

Creation of Dinochick

Creation of Dinochick

“Michael Crichton got it all wrong, I mean way wrong!” Stated Biologist Dr. Jockkim Pollo, director of Bio Research at Chainsaw Chicken International, LTD. “I mean really? Frog DNA? You need to use CHICKEN DNA”. He says this based on the latest theory that dinosaurs are suggested to be closer to birds rather than amphibians […]

Mission Plot

Mission Plot

Back in 1965, Desilu Productions gave the green light for the pilot of a TV series where a group of very talented spies would foil plans of others around the world that might be doing harm to the balance of power around them. Wow! Who wouldn’t enjoy that series? Well, it seems that Desi Arnez […]

Coumo Cousin Jailed

Coumo Cousin Jailed

One more strike against a Cuomo family member happened today. This time, Elmo Cuomo was arrested for Chicken Porn and Animal Cruelty. He was arrested for willfully attempting to get chickens drunk and then posing the corps in provocative photo shots. The carcasses recovery of these victims have not happened yet. It is believed that […]

Nessy alive and well

Nessy alive and well

Finally I have proof that the Lock Ness Monster, called affectionately ‘Nessy’, is alive and well and gives one heck of a ride. Last week, when I was doing my book tour in Scotland, I took a detour to the ‘Lock’ and dawned my wet suit. I took off swimming with the faint hope of […]

Chainsaw Chicken Socks

Chainsaw Chicken Socks

Available Now! Official Chainsaw Chicken knee-high socks. Yes… You too can own these incredibly comfortable and popular image footwear. Where do you get them? These great socks are available at  Walmart, Rite-Aid, Walgreen, CVS and Kroger affiliated stores. Ask for them by name. Chainsaw Chicken Comfort Socks. Purchase right now and get a second pair […]

Chick-Kids Gathering

Chick-Kids Gathering

So much can be seen in this family reunion photo with all the Chicken kids gathered for a remembrance pic. All the relatives and their offspring. Left to right is Calhoun Chicken on the pony; his sister Dane; the Cacciatore twins – Sophia and Gina; Crocky (hiding behind the kids); Cheech (in the striped shirt); […]

Cowabunga Dude!

Cowabunga Dude!

“Oh righteous, my brothers!” could be heard by La Jolla Chicken as he finished his set in the 1951 Long Board surfing competition off the sands of Manhattan Beach, California. “Did  you feel that curl? Totally Tubular” he continued, “Cowabunga”. But where did the term cowabunga come from? Now you know. Some give credit for […]

Feng at it again

Feng at it again

She has a new look but it’s the same suckers falling for her ‘honey trap’ were she is hoping to gain influence and access to sensitive information. She definitely seems to have a predilection for chicken. Here is a photo of Feng Feng Swawell‘s latest victim. Sheki McCluck. He happens to be married to my […]

Family Guy Gets Plucked

Family Guy Gets Plucked

“Peter, I’m gonna settle this ongoing conflict for good” said Chainsaw Chicken. Chainsaw continued, “Your show’s gonna need a new title. No longer called ‘The Family Guy’ it’s gonna be ‘The Widow with kids’. When you get through assaulting that chicken, you need to turn around and experience the wrath THIS chicken will inflict on […]

Solway Firth Solved

Solway Firth Solved

appear This famous photograph referred to as ‘Solway Firth Spaceman‘ is classified as one of the strangest, unsolved mysteries ever photographed. In 1964, in Solway Firth, England, a father took a nice photo of his daughter enjoying a picnic in a field. Just the two of them. They were alone. But when the film was […]

Chainsaw Chicken Area

Chainsaw Chicken Area

No, it’s not an autonomous zone like CHAZ or George Floyd Square. It’s a popularized expression of a community awareness. Groups who mutually gather with a common joy of a single thought or concept. But they don’t block others from entering or exposing those less aware to the idea. All skin colors, ethnicity, races, creeds, […]

Our Glorious Leader

Our Glorious Leader

Excitement is at a fevered pitch around the ‘Holy Communal Center’ as the 50 chosen wives ready themselves for the largest marriage ever seen in the mountains of Nevada at the ‘Church of the Anointed Chicken’ . Each of these brides have had private interviews with Our Glorious Leader in the past weeks. They have […]

Cuomosexuals on Parade

Cuomosexuals on Parade

Recognizing an opportunity when he sees one, Leroy ‘Big Daddy’ Chicken has gathered a group of committed, self-proclaimed Cuomosexuals to be exhibited at the I LOVE NEW YORK CONVENTION (the State, not the city), “Look… ahhh… Here’s the deal… I mean… ahhh… c’mon man… Give me a break. My girls are happy to be whatever […]