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A.O.C. Stole Her Idea!

A.O.C. Stole Her Idea!

It was so embarrassing for Mrs. Chicken. She was really trying to make a very important point. A message to everyone that will notice her dress. Maybe even some press. She wanted to people know that vegetarians have other options rather than chickens, our relatives, to have for meat. Here’s pork, many different kinds of […]

Biden Adjustments

Biden Adjustments

Darth Chicken has returned to the Oval Office to make some adjustments and fine tuning. “just a small adjustment with this tiny dial… THERE! Now! That should shorten the lag time down between questions and answers… Okay, now for the sleepiness during the day. I am turning up the alertness throttle stop. Almost there… ahhhh…DONE! […]

String Puller Identified

String Puller Identified

An accidental image was captured on a closed circuit secure broadcast to other figure-heads and supposed leaders within the New World Order. There, to those who were able to see the secret image witness, was the answer that so many people who ask the question. “Who is really pulling the strings behind Biden”? When the […]

Hair sniffing isn’t so bad

Hair sniffing isn’t so bad

For the last several years we’ve all been hearing about certain executives that we see on the news each night being accused of hair sniffing young women. I must admit, at first it did not sound appealing to me at all. Running around sniffing the hair of pre-teen and teens with some form of delight. […]

Ghani hides in our home

Ghani hides in our home

“A warm welcome to you Mr. Ghani”,  Mrs. Chicken said to the ex-president of Afghanistan as he exited his limo. “Salam alaikum” Chainsaw  proclaimed, sweeping his palm to his chest and bowing some. Ghani swooped past Chainsaw, checking over his shoulder left and right. He asks, “Any press around here? I have been trying to […]

Spies Like Us

Spies Like Us

With the fall of Afghanistan and the debacle of  Hamid Karzai International Airport in Kabul, Chainsaw Chicken has been reactivated and sent in as a deep undercover spy. His mission? To get in tight with the leadership of the Taliban network to be the eyes and ears of the ‘over the horizon‘ capabilities the Washington […]

Plans for Biden Library

Plans for Biden Library

The final plans for the Biden Presidential Library were selected today. The winner of the contract went to the Nation-wide Architectural firm of ‘Oliver, William and Murphy’, headquartered in Talahoochie, Delaware. “We have a few obstacles to overcome”, outlined the firms President, Mr. Oliver. “First, is with the lack of availability to obtain the needed […]

“Chicken Hawk” captured

“Chicken Hawk” captured

The assassin-spy known as “Carlos the Chicken Hawk” has finally been captured. He was visiting some friends through the fence at the Foster Farms retention area where he was apprehended. He initially identifying himself a someone name Bruce Biden, a close cousin to President Biden. It was later learned that he was actually Carlos Chicken. […]

California to NY

California to NY

Since Chainsaw announced his intentions to replace Newsom as Governor of California, everybody and their neighbor have signed up as well. From transsexuals to talk show hosts, the field suddenly became rather crowded and Chainsaw soon realized that he had not caught the eye of the voting electorate or the mega press. Then a wonderful […]

We play Gov and Assistant

We play Gov and Assistant

Mrs. Chicken and I need to thank you, Governor Cuomo. You have brought something special into our marriage without you even knowing us. Last week I was sitting on the couch with Mrs. Chicken when she put her arm around my shoulders. I told her “that was no way to treat the Governor of this […]

Suck it up!

Suck it up!

As we continually keep being reminded, equity is universal. We need to have equity! Remember, we all need to have equity. But also remember, some of us have more equity in things than others. Get used to it. “You can’t let all of us have the same equity. When you look at all the homes […]

I can do it better, Hunter!

I can do it better, Hunter!

“I am asking $2 Million for this one. I put a lot of work on this piece. Look at the technique! The media! I’m not blowing spit through a straw. This is paint! And look, I’m using a chicken foot for a brush!” proclaimed by my cousin Vincent Van Chick. “I’ve messaged Miss Kamakazi… no… […]

My Obama B-day Invite

My Obama B-day Invite

I am so disappointed! My invitation to Barrack’s 60th birthday bash did not arrive in time for me to attend! It would have been nice if they would have put some actual postage on the damn envelope! Here I am, getting this on the day of his party. I was all prepared with a gift […]

Hard Scrabble Joey

Hard Scrabble Joey

My daddy  once lost his job and when he came home, thew his lunch box on the kitchen table and said “Joey…” (I don’t know why he called me Joey, my name is Chainsaw), “I mean… Look, I’m not kidding, really…” His conversation dwindled off…. “Yes Dad? What?” I asked. He suddenly sprang to life […]

Crime Out of Control

Crime Out of Control

Crime is out of control. Look at the latest tragedy.  One of my dear sweet cousins joined the ranks of the cult-like, ritualistic slaughter of chicken for this summer. My cousin was so consumed by the heat of the flames that all distinguishing traits were destroyed. We can’t even tell the sex. “This will probably […]

Big Deal, Zuck!

Big Deal, Zuck!

Many of you saw the nation-wide coverage of Ol’ Zuck balancing on his multi thousand dollar electric foil surf board waiving Old Glory. Supposedly happening on the 4th of July, in a publicity stunt meant to re-affirm his patriotic intent for his company and all it stands for to the U.S of A. Not shown […]

Don’t Blame Me

Don’t Blame Me

What more can be said? If you voted for me in your last election then you can proudly claim your innocence as everything starts to circle the drain like a discarded cigarette butt flushed in the toilet of the world economy. Get your flag proclaiming your foresight. Send a check in the amount of your […]

Stool Pigeon

Stool Pigeon

They are after me! They are using any method they can to get me. Just like the Attorney General of New York has been quoted to say, “Show me the man, I’ll show you the crime!” This “Stool Pigeon” just kept spewing all kinds of indictments about me! I’ve heard he said things like; “He’s […]

Gain of Function

Gain of Function

With all the talk of ‘Gain of Function” discussion going on, the world has learned a few new and startling facts. While visiting the other food market in Wuhan, China, called the ‘Moist Store’, similar to the infamous ‘Wet Market’, Chainsaw Chicken was approached by representatives of The Wuhan Institute of Virology to participate in […]

CDC “Don’t Kiss Chickens”

CDC “Don’t Kiss Chickens”

The CDC warned that poultry owners should take special precautions when handling their animals after 163 confirmed cases of salmonella were reported in 43 states. “Don’t kiss or snuggle backyard poultry, and don’t eat or drink around them.” That does it! Do I tell Dr. Rochelle Walensky who she gets to make out with? Does […]