Chainsaw Chicken (seen sitting at the desk behind) was the exclusive cigar merchant for the Clinton Administration. He lived two floors above Monica Lewinsky in the Watergate apartments and was the contact between Bill and Monica. It is rumored that Bill, Chainsaw and Monica met at his apartment for Ménage à trois (which is French […]
BREAKING NEWS
This Just In… In a stunning situation reversal, porn has-been Stormy Daniels is denying the reports that she would not accept $130 to have a one-night stand with history revisionist Chainsaw Chicken. Details remain blurry but Chainsaw Chicken’s attorney, Cluck Bones, had his office, home and coop raided by authorities to try to link this […]
Easter Bunny Training
“Spring has sprung… The grass has riz… I wonder where the bunnies is?” According to Chainsaw Chicken, they are all in advance Easter production.”There are a ton of Easter baskets needing to be filled with bunny eggs”. Consider the concept of changing over the process of what bunnies traditionally drop in the yard to something […]
Yugo Limo for Hire
Always ready to take advantage of a deal when it rolls around, Chainsaw has purchased this very hard to find and extremely unique Yugo custom limousine from a Croatian car dealer. “There’s row after row of seating. It’s very special. Just in time for prom and the Wine tours. I only wish there would have […]
Scarce As Hen’s Teeth
A saying from the 18th century, it is somewhat accurate for the phylum of domesticated chicken, Gallus Gallus Domestica. However, there is a superior specie called Carnivorous Gallus Ubiquitous that did, in fact, have a large, serrated, toothed upper and lower beak. Scientist have long postulated that current inherent fears of certain creatures came from years […]
Remember Jr. High girls?
Think back to those Junior High or Middle School dances. The gym is decorated but is generally dark. The refreshment table is better illuminated with some bagged cookies laid out and a punch bowl with some small paper cups lined up. You and the guys are in small groups of a dozen or so talking […]
‘Crocky’ Finally Located
Known for his hi jinks and tom-foolery, ‘Crocky’ Chicken, (born Eugene Palmaroy Chicken) was finally located yesterday. He was an employee at the Queensland Regional Dangerous Animal Park. Rumor had it that he had walked away from his job after failing to appears for the third sequential personal safety meeting. “Sheba”, the star salt-water croc, […]
Chainsaw Musk
Before the Tesla Electric Cars, before the space ships and colonizing Mars concepts, before Zip2, before X.com (both household business names, right?) there was Chainsaw Musk. He’s the grand uncle of Elon. He created the first car that ran on something other than petroleum or steam. When he was in South Africa he discovered one […]
More Yearbook Trouble
Going back into someone’s past has become quiet fashionable within the media. Chainsaw Chicken is not immune to this practice so he has released his yearbook photo page from his 6th year at Whatsamatta University. Chainsaw stated “I have never seen this yearbook until the press pointed out this page. I have ordered a copy […]
‘Chuck Atlas’ Chicken
Many of us grew up seeing ads similar to this one on the back or inside pages of comic books and teen magazines. If you could dig one up and take another look at it you would see that it was Chainsaw ‘Chuck Atlas’ Chicken pumping his guns on the bright yellow background. Go take […]