That’s how Nova described the feeling of ‘going to second base’ at least in the first working title of the movie ‘American MILF’ later changed to ‘American Pie’. In fact, an entire second unit was used to film an alternative movie, staring Chainsaw Chicken (known as Johnny Longbow). The film later entered the soft-core market […]
New Friends to the Rescue
My niece was driving in the badlands of New Mexico last week and evidently took a wrong road. She followed it for miles until her TomTom GPS device stopped saying “Turn around and head back to the last town” and started saying, “Don’t Stop, Whatever you do! Your goose will be cooked”. She called me […]
Chicken-Fest 2018
Chainsaw Chicken-Fest 2018 took place with many top rated bands. Bands performing many hits from the 50’s. through the present. Music included the following; Zac Brown Band played ‘Chicken Fried’, The Lost Trailers played ‘Chicken Fried Feet’ , Cowboy Troy played ‘I Played Chicken With The Train’, The Voice Of Harlem played .Chicken Noodle Soup’, […]
Bare Back Mountain?
Chainsaw Chicken replaced Jake Gyllenhaal in the Swahili version of Brokeback Mountain called “Kuvunja nyuma Kuku Hill”. Chaingun Chicken
Kneel ‘baby’!
Colin Kaepernick, I have a message too… Much like Colin’s message, only different. It is as follows: “Believe Anything. Even if it means sacrificing something.” Chainsaw Chicken Peeps
Black Moon Cult on Parade
Chainsaw Chicken is a dedicated cult member of the mysterious and elite ‘Black Moon’ society, where he recently reached the hallowed rank of “Lamp Wick” after many arduous years toiling as a “Grease Lug”. To the casual observer, these ranks may sound like items found at a low-end hardware store, but to the initiated, they […]
He Made His Bones
“You’s guys must respect his works and acheivemental accolades” piped Sonny-Boys as they vacationed at the Florida shore. “How’s ya’s thunk he earns his ‘nick’?… ‘Chainsaw’? He buzzed them undesirables into breakfast sausage.” The Capo’s all posed for a remembrance photo. Seen on the far left is Errol “The horse” (he owns a stable I […]
Ryan the Raker
Chicken Steals UFO
As crazy as it sounds, yes! Chainsaw Chicken was able to commandeer and abandoned Unidentified Flying Object left at a community playground in La Cross, Wisc. “The technology is really something” stated Chainsaw. “It was disguised as playground equipment where children could crawl and pretend to fly away. But I figured out the method of […]
Slim Whitman Remixed
“When I’m calling yooooooOOOOoooOOOoOOOO… You’ll be calling me, toooooooOOOoooOOoooo…” Ah yes, remember that stirring sound made so popular at all your favorite watering holes, lounges, casino bars and many truck stops? And that tragic year of 2013? Slim yodeled his way to his heavenly host and that meant that the world had lost their favorite […]