Yes… Ritalin will brighten your day!
It will be so bright that your brain will need extra-dark sunglasses!!!
If you feel your ‘inner chicken’ needs brightened, ask your doctor for an adult size dose of Ritalin.
You’re probably gonna have these Side Effects
- Addiction, (duh)
- Nervousness including agitation, AnXiEtY and irritability
- Trouble sleeping (when’s my next dose)
- Decreased appetite (that’s the purpose, right?)
- Headache
- Stomach ache
- Nausea (stand back)
- Dizziness
- Heart palpitations
and then there’s these…
- Slowing of growth (height and weight)
- Seizures, (your property as well as physically)
- Eyesight changes or blurred vision (from costume disguises)
But still, there’s more…
- High blood pressure
- Rapid pulse rate (and other heart problems)
- Tolerance (constant need to raise the dose, give me MORE))
- Feelings of suspicion and paranoia (who’s saying that?)
- Visual hallucinations (oh I see you now)
- Depression (but who cares? I don’t)
- Cocaine craving (I got that monkey on my back)
- Dermatoses (those are just new birth marks)
- Urinary tract infection (I’m pissing razor blades! Ahhhhhhh!)
- Infection or viral infection (my gums are bleeding….and what happened to my nose?)
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