No one knew about this deckhand named Lupi Chicken (once married to my grandmother’s youngest sister-in-law). He had been with the CIA since he was recruited right out of Fresno Community College. After he learned to speak with a Spanish accent and dyed his Jheri Curled hair he found himself working on a ‘company owned’ […]
Buckethead is my Cousin
Celebrates Headless Cuz
Have you ever seen a headless chicken walking around energetically? The incredible chicken who’s head has been cut off was still able to balance on a perch and move as steadily as any chickens with a head. It has attracted lots of attention from local residents, some people were so amazed and said that seeing […]
600M Slaughtered
While you were all celebrating the battle between the over-paid, over-medicated, pampered “warriors” playing a sport that the rest of the world plays with a rounded oblong ball… 600 Million of my relatives were butchered to please your craving for an easy piece of tasty meat to dip into your blue cheese dressing. As V. […]
Power Ranger Murderer
Skylar Deleon, of the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, was convicted on three counts of first-degree murder. Deleon was convicted of killing Tom Hawks and his wife Jackie after departing on a test run to sell their 55-ft. yacht, the “Well Deserved” (No Kidding). The deaths of the couple came from him tying them to an […]
Learning to French Kiss
Test subject For Lobotomy
After the Francis Farmer story that was so popularized in story and film, exploiting the horrific treatments of her lobotomy (which she never actually had), my friend and cousin, Daffy Chicken, set out to obtain the benefit from this procedure of a sub-orbital ice pick insertion. Since no one uses and ice pick anymore now […]
Chainsaw Paparazzi
One of Chainsaw’s later jobs started out as a ‘stringer’ for the Bumphuque, N.J. town paper and evolved into being a photographer for the county to document traffic fatalities. After weeks of taking photos of the gory, bloody, disgusting traffic deaths, a relatively large star came through town and stopped at the coffee shop Chainsaw […]
O.J. Hires Chainsaw
Remember when was O.J. was found not guilty for the slaughter of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman? Remember how he promised to continue the search for the REAL killer of these two people? Until his arrest in Las Vegas for unrelated charges, the “Juice” searched every PGA certified golf course around the country, but […]
Justin Bieber
Ever notice how the bad boy, ‘leave it to Bieber’, is always shirtless, showing off his mix of ‘tats’? Take a look just above those ladies panties he apparently likes to wear. Yup… It’s Chainsaw Chicken’s registered logo as well as Chainsaw’s likeness in color around his left aureola. My lawyer’s are being assembled and […]