With the rapid and overwhelming popularity of Chainsaw Chicken emerging throughout the Western World, there are bound to be imposters, fakes, impersonators, body doubles, doppelgangers, clones and mimics. Here is an example that simply numbs the mind. Chainsaw stated, when viewing this photo, “OMG! I’d never wear a partial grass skirt while doing this. How […]
Reeducation Camps Begin
“I really feel that turkey’s are so inferior as I have stated many times in my editorials. All educated chickens should agree. We need to do something about this. Some kind of sanitizing process. It has finally been materialized. After years of our persuasion and protests, arguments, complaints and demands”, Chainsaw stated in his interview […]
Dad’s Aunt’s
I tell ya, I was really confused growing up because of dad’s family. With all his family members running in and out of the house, but not all the time. I remember one time mom flew home to see grandma Bubbles (on a plane…stupid!) Any way, the whole time she was away and I mean […]
Captain’s Dark Mess
Remember when you sat in front of the TV each day, a fudgesicle in one hand and a glass of ‘Rootin’ Tootin’ Raspberry’ Funny Face drink-mix in the other when Captain Kangaroo would come on. Those were the days… But did you know the dark secret of Mr. Green jeans, the Captain’s friend and associate […]
Sea Hunt is back!
That right! The spine tingling underwater drama of Mike Nelson taking on the world’s problems from a child loosing his bike in a drainage ditch to a B-1b bomber accidentally dropping it’s load of undetonated hydrogen bombs deep in an adversarial lake area like Russia or Texas. NBC has a habit of taking old and […]
Grüne Polizei
Chainsaw recently imported a genuine Green Police (Grüne Polizei) VW from Germany. As the leaders of the Green Doctrine around the world they have become known for their forward thinking, woke-ness, progressive, yet moderate edict spew onto the populace of the country. And it’s coming with the new controllers in government right here in River […]
The Emu is OUT!
That’s right! The Emu is gone. “We’re tired of chasing that stupid angry bird all over the studio lot” said the production manager of those ongoing Liberty Mutual commercials. “We need something more manageable”. Time for nephew Tab Chicken to step in. Tab is a struggling print model that was told at a young age […]
Steamed Tenders
New Years Resolution in action! Chainsaw and his twin sisters, Lavern and Shirley, have pledged that this year they are going to do what it takes to lose those unwanted extra Covid-19 pounds. Like the commercials say, our work is just too close to the refrigerator, or in our case to close to the grain […]
According to Whoopie
Last week, Chainsaw’s aunt, Ilean (not his Chinese aunt Irean) was in the hot seat as a guest on The View. In a moment of superiority and total authority, Whoopi Goldberg said that Joe Biden should appoint his wife Dr. Jill Biden Surgeon General. Whopie continued. “She’s a hell of a doctor”. “I’m hoping Dr. […]
New Foods to Eat
Oh Yum! Look what’s coming! Seems that since the start of 2019, customers of some supermarket chain called Kaufland have had the choice between garlic and herb flavored mealworms, or buffalo worms with hints of sour cream and onion. Hmmmm… my mouth is watering, from bile. And then there’s foods made from insects, such as […]