Disney, Pixar, and Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd. have entered the final stages of approving Disney’s latest attempt to indoctrinate children and like-minded adults on the importance of identifying every character’s sexual orientation before the plot even starts.
That was the stumbling block in finalizing this movie deal.
First, let me tell you—Skippy and Scooter are very real and good friends of mine. Both suffer the same condition I do: the burden of having to wear a Chainsaw Chicken-style mask. Not to hide something, but because it is who they are. It’s not a costume; it’s an identity. A calling. The face that says, “Don’t ask for normal.”
Their relationship isn’t something they flaunt or weaponize for attention. They simply live it—quietly, honestly. They don’t want to be anyone’s cause or headline. They just want to be left alone to binge-watch documentaries about failed theme parks like the rest of us.
Then came Disney.
Executives called me saying Skippy and Scooter were perfect for their next animated feature: The Fowl Truth: A Journey of Self-Discovery. It was pitched as a buddy film about two friends finding themselves in a world that misunderstands them. Sounded fine… until the words “diversity audit” and “market testing across 64 nations” came up.
Skippy nearly swallowed his beak.
He told me flat-out, “Chainsaw, we don’t want to be anyone’s poster birds.”
I agreed. So I pulled the plug.
Disney countered, saying they wouldn’t show them as a couple—just as two very close friends who share every waking moment, every emotional beat, and a one-bedroom apartment in Glendale.
Skippy sighed. Scooter just looked at me and said, “They’re gonna make us into plush toys, aren’t they?”
And that’s when I realized something: authenticity doesn’t need a corporate approval rating.
So the deal’s on hold. The script’s buried under a pile of NDAs, and Skippy and Scooter are back home, doing what they love most—being themselves.
They don’t need Disney to tell them who they are. They already have their masks.