Chainsaw Chicken stood in the field longer than necessary, holding a sunflower that had already given up most of its opinions. Petals on the ground don’t lie. They just tell you what you already suspect. He’s been married to Mrs. Chicken a long time. Long enough to know that love isn’t fireworks or slogans or […]
For the Last Time…
Let’s clear something up. Again. I am not a chicken.I do not use a chainsaw.Chainsaw is my name. This shouldn’t be complicated, yet here we are. Somewhere along the way, people decided that a name must be a job description, a lifestyle choice, or a prop inventory. If your name is Jack, you must climb […]
Internal Matter-Nothing to see
I wasn’t involved directly. That’s important to say up front. When you reach a certain point, people assume you are involved, even when you’re just standing nearby with your hands in your pockets, trying not to make things complicated. I’ve learned that clarity helps. This was an internal matter. One of our senior enforcement officers […]
Sponge Bob Cameo
I was told to sit. That happens sometimes. Someone says, “Just sit here for a second,” and I do. I don’t ask a lot of questions because questions tend to slow things down, and I was already wearing the suit. The suit usually means you’re expected to behave. So I sat. There was a sponge. […]