I called my therapist to change my appointment time. He must have been out to lunch or something. Instead, I got his service…
“Hello. You’ve reached the Mental Health Hotline.
If you are obsessive compulsive… press 1. Repeatedly.
If you are codependent… have someone press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities… press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid… stay on the line. We know.
If you are delusional… press 7 for transport to the mothership.
If you are depressive… it doesn’t matter.
If you feel fine… stay on the line.
We’ll correct that.”
So I just hung up.
Hear it for yourself.