I ordered a Chick Magnet from the ads you see on Facebook. It arrived with a Chinese postmark. It is so strong, I finally had to leave it in the other room just to take a break. Let’s see. Who is number 22? NOW SERVING NUMBER 22!. My work never ends! Bill Clinton has asked […]
Empty My Gizzard
Okay, okay… I know! Not my best picture, but I went to Six Flags and all I came home with was an empty gizzard and this photo. The others in the car came home with a little more. Like that expression, ‘My parents went on vacation and all I got was this shirt’ was changed […]
Toasted G-Strings
Imagine the explanations that will spill from their mouths when they try to explain the hand print burned into their toasted g-strings. It’s the simple things. After all, chickens will be chickens. Grüne Polizei
Make Chickens Great Again
You’ve seen the news. We all have. Chainsaw Chicken was embroiled in an media firestorm of misleading issues and misrepresented motives surrounding this confrontation. The ‘face-off’ was not with Nicolas Cage as this reference would suggest but with a leader of the Turkeyite Tribe, a small native American group, known for their worship of the […]
Cheaper than a seat!
Chainsaw Chicken is a shrewd financial expert. He has always tried not to spend excessively whenever possible. Here is a picture of him traveling by bus to be with family members in the Tucson, AZ area. By checking himself in as baggage rather than buying a seat, he saved enough to purchase soft drinks at […]
Mrs. Chicken Sun Tans
Mrs. Chicken works on her tan in preparation to defend her fourth place finish in the Kraft Products, Non-beauty contest mentioned in an earlier entry. Good Luck, Mrs. Chicken! Not Based On Looks
One Win – 22 Losses
Most people do not realize that Chainsaw Chicken was on the varsity basketball team with a young Barack Obama at Punahou High School. This team had the longest loosing record in Hawaii’s high school history. This specific season, the record was 22 losses and one win. This win was because the opposing team, the Hawaii […]
It’s A Girl! Congrats!
No… Not mine… Really. Well… maybe. Ahhhh… Look at the sweet thing. She has her father’s nose and her mother’s eye’s! She is adorable. Really…! Stunning! That’s what you get for ruining Facebook and making it into a money pit! Look for their MySpace page for more info. You might say I got my revenge. […]
CC Gets his Star!
Chainsaw Chicken was recently honored by the Film Actors Guild (FAG) and awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. “It was such a honor to be selected” he stated at his press meeting. Chainsaw’s star is placed near the front doors of the business’ “Fredrick’s of Hollywood” and the adult video Arcade “The […]
New Friends to the Rescue
My niece was driving in the badlands of New Mexico last week and evidently took a wrong road. She followed it for miles until her TomTom GPS device stopped saying “Turn around and head back to the last town” and started saying, “Don’t Stop, Whatever you do! Your goose will be cooked”. She called me […]