“Chopsticks” Chicken, an Asian 3rd cousin removed, was a honored and respected person within the Japanese culture in the 20’s and 30’s. He would run around and give money to random people daily. So regularly that people became used to his dispensing money. On a day when he ran out of money early, he coined […]
Arty Chicken, Spy Killer
There is a dark side to some of Chainsaw Chicken’s relatives. One had CIA assassin training during the cold war. Arty Chicken was a known double agent. He had arranged to go on a hunting trip with a Soviet agent and his handler. Arty was told by the ‘Agency’ that these two agents were to […]
Takes Lickin, Keeps Tickin
June 30th, 1946 Able Atomic Test, Bikini Atoll. The military authorities and scientist had promised the Bikini Atoll native residents that they would be able to return home after the atomic tests. A majority of the islands family heads agreed to leave the island but not all of them. The outcast clan of the Fearless […]
‘Bacon’ Chicken
He was never mentioned much at family gatherings. No one seemed to really want anything to do with him. He was never at school events or family functions. Didn’t finish school. Didn’t even attend either of his parents funerals. He was a real a**hole. Every family seems to have one like him. Incidentally, he gained […]
Skull and Chicken Bones
Skull and Bones, a secret society at Yale University, added a new member, Chainsaw Chicken in October 1968. In November, 1971, this obsequious organization was supposedly disbanded. There is a hidden list which is kept at Yale’s library under a bookshelf with a false panel. In this list of notable ‘Bonesmen’, Chainsaw Chicken was a […]
Bucket of MURDERER
This painfully despicable killer thinks he has received the better end of a deal by demanding a bucket of KFC (Kentucky Fried Cousins) and some decadent ice cream. He thinks will that wash away his guilt. How killing my friends and family members and serving them up to this extreme felon can in any way […]
Follow The Comet
Missing out on the Hale-Bopp comet event with the Heaven’s Gate followers, Bobby ‘Bongo’ Chicken always felt he was left out. He took it upon himself to try to catch up with those who preceded him back in ’97. ‘Bongo’ purchased the Niki’s, black pants, purple sheet and apple sauce. He stared at the Marshall […]
Gigantopithecus Selfie
While on a recent excursion into the wilds of the Asian sub-continent, Anthropological Professor Alsasian Chicken of Wossamotta U straightens up from is morning bird-bath (similar to a sponge bath, but no sponge and no nurse) to see a Gigantopithecus intensely watching his actions. Ever on the ready, Alsasian Chainsaw takes this most unusual selfie […]
Star Trek Type History
As a youngster, Chainsaw’s father, Chester Rutherford Chicken wanted to join the navy. All he ever thought about was ships and the great sea stories he was told as a child or had read in books. He volunteered for the Pee-Wee Junior Naval Auxiliary Inland Seaman’s Corp at the age of seven. He was issued […]
’62 FFA Q&A With JFK
In 1962, the White House held a greeting for the FFA (Future Farmers of America) winners around the country. Many future popular figures can be seen in this publicity photo. From the left to right you can see my cousin Vinny Chicken, Charles Hardin Holley (known as Buddy), Li’l Jimmie Chicken (in the back), William […]