Missing out on the Hale-Bopp comet event with the Heaven’s Gate followers, Bobby ‘Bongo’ Chicken always felt he was left out. He took it upon himself to try to catch up with those who preceded him back in ’97. ‘Bongo’ purchased the Niki’s, black pants, purple sheet and apple sauce. He stared at the Marshall […]
Gigantopithecus Selfie
While on a recent excursion into the wilds of the Asian sub-continent, Anthropological Professor Alsasian Chicken of Wossamotta U straightens up from is morning bird-bath (similar to a sponge bath, but no sponge and no nurse) to see a Gigantopithecus intensely watching his actions. Ever on the ready, Alsasian Chainsaw takes this most unusual selfie […]
Star Trek Type History
As a youngster, Chainsaw’s father, Chester Rutherford Chicken wanted to join the navy. All he ever thought about was ships and the great sea stories he was told as a child or had read in books. He volunteered for the Pee-Wee Junior Naval Auxiliary Inland Seaman’s Corp at the age of seven. He was issued […]
’62 FFA Q&A With JFK
In 1962, the White House held a greeting for the FFA (Future Farmers of America) winners around the country. Many future popular figures can be seen in this publicity photo. From the left to right you can see my cousin Vinny Chicken, Charles Hardin Holley (known as Buddy), Li’l Jimmie Chicken (in the back), William […]
KFC Opens in Saigon
As the new franchise opens, there are protests from the first day. There is no fooling the public about the killing and harvesting of these innocent chickens. “Who did they hurt? What harm did they cause?” asked Ramadan Chicken from the Tibetan Ashram near Saigon. These words were murmured shortly before Ramadan immolated himself in […]
Second Space Walk
In March 1965, at the age of 30, Soviet cosmonaut Alexei Leonov made the first spacewalk in history, beating out rival Chainsaw Chicken on Gemini 4 by almost three months. Chainsaw did, however, release a fertilized egg into space in hopes that some Alien species might find it and realize that there are other life […]
Where’s Your Curtsy?
Webster says ‘Curtsy … a formal way of greeting an important person in which a woman shows respect by placing one foot slightly behind the other and bending her knees.’ However Mrs. Chainsaw Chicken did not hold this faux pas against the Queen when the Queen failed to preform this gesture. Mr. Chainsaw Chicken found […]
Bay of Pigs Informant
Recently released FOIA documents have finally revealed the name of the informant that helped Castro be alerted and prepared for the Bay of Pigs invasion. His name was Bahía de Cochinos. This coincidence in name with the actual location of attack has clouded the investigation. However, Chainsaw Chicken learned from the death bed of Bahía […]
Proposal to Casey
Yes, the word is out and it is better to get in front of it. Chainsaw Chicken officially announces that he proposed to Casey Anthony. He did this soon after she assumed that he may be father of her current pregnancy Rumor flew around the last time she gave birth (probably from Chainsaw again) that […]
Squeeze Tube Inventor
This is Edward Scozillia Chicken, a friend of the family, back in 1935. Yes, he developed the concept of the squeezable tube used by medicine and over the counter product manufacturers around the world. His family was very wealthy until the Colgate conglomerate cheated him out of his patent. He liked to play cards while […]