“With history being constantly rewritten, the National Park Service, under pressure from the Committee of Cultural Sensitivity and an online petition with 83 signatures, has approved replacing George Washington with Chainsaw Chicken. Critics argue it’s absurd — but Chainsaw points out, ‘So was electing a guy with wooden teeth.’ The site will be renamed Mt. […]
Tonto Reveals All
On a 2013 episode of The Late Show with Burt Bucky, Burt did a sketch in which he interviewed Johnny Depp — who wore a chicken on his head in homage to Chainsaw Chicken — for a new job at the WB. Speaking in his Tonto verbiage he said, “I work 30 years as faithful […]
WARNING NOTICE TO ISIS
Not all are passive in the United States. If you start pulling the assaults here like you have in other major cities around the world, you WILL see a difference. In total numbers, the civilian population that is armed within the United States would make the second largest army in the world. Now I, Chainsaw […]
Hitler at the Reichstag
Schtupidz komrando
Now some say if you use a google translator and enter Kettensäge Huhn, it translates into Chainsaw Chicken!
Works on Cell too
The Tupac Mystery
After the tragic shooting of Tupac Amaru Shakur, investigators cast their nets wide. Somehow, it was Chainsaw Chicken who wound up in the spotlight. A photo soon surfaced, taken just one hour before the incident — Chainsaw seated between friends, looking more confused about the drink menu than any grand conspiracy. Authorities grilled him for […]
Eyes FRONT, Chicken!
The unit was drilling for a special televised parade. Every move had to be sharp, every detail perfect. The order came: “Eyes front!” Dozens of soldiers snapped forward in flawless precision. Except one. Chainsaw Chicken blinked, looked left, looked right, even glanced at the sky. “Front of what? The TV front? The parade front? Nobody […]