“With history being constantly rewritten, the National Park Service, under pressure from the Committee of Cultural Sensitivity and an online petition with 83 signatures, has approved replacing George Washington with Chainsaw Chicken. Critics argue it’s absurd — but Chainsaw points out, ‘So was electing a guy with wooden teeth.’
The site will be renamed Mt. Chicken, with commemorative bobbleheads available at the gift shop. Chainsaw promises this is only the beginning: ‘Next stop — the Lincoln Memorial. I’ve already got the stovepipe hat in my size.’”
