All the movies about “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” were based on actual acts by Chainsaw Chicken called the Chainsaw Chicken Massacre. His therapy treatment was successful and the threat to the general population has been greatly reduced now that he is on parole and being forced to participate in chemical treatments. Reeducation […]
Easter Island Discovery
After finally obtaining permission from the government of Chile, Bumgardener Chicken started using microwave technology to search Easter Island for more Moai heads carved by the Rapa Nui. Within a few days an entire row of Moai heads where found under the ruins of a past culture. These carvings dated back farther than the typical […]
Cave Drawings Discovered
An international team of anthropologist and learned professionals were summoned to a small cavern near a hill outside the eastern boarder of France. They are there to examine a cave that has been unearthed. Seen in the cryptograms are wild animals of the day, hunted for food. There are other drawings of humans performing daily […]
More Russian Collusion
Again, the treat of Russian Collusion has reared its’ ugly head! Chainsaw Chicken has been arrested by the Special Prosecution headed by Robert Mueller. His crime? He willfully and knowingly listed the 1982 movie ‘Red Dawn’ (the original one with Patrick Swayze , not the remake with Thor fighting off a North Korea invasion) as […]
He Made His Bones
“You’s guys must respect his works and acheivemental accolades” piped Sonny-Boys as they vacationed at the Florida shore. “How’s ya’s thunk he earns his ‘nick’?… ‘Chainsaw’? He buzzed them undesirables into breakfast sausage.” The Capo’s all posed for a remembrance photo. Seen on the far left is Errol “The horse” (he owns a stable I […]
Klondike Nuptials
‘Deadpan’ Chicken, an ancestor of Chainsaw Chicken during the gold rush in the late 1800’s, joined his fellow miners in advertising for wives. The result of this advertising was the basis for the 1970’s movie ‘Paint Your Wagon‘ . In this movie multiple miners claim shares of a female similar to shares in a gold […]
Lessons to my Gina
Starlet Gina Lollobrigida as she became a world wide sensation. Her sexy pout you see here was a special act Chainsaw Coached her to use. As time went on they later became engaged and it went all the way to the that final day at the alter but when Chainsaw Chicken learned that she had […]
Chainsaw, Bill and Monica
Chainsaw Chicken (seen sitting at the desk behind) was the exclusive cigar merchant for the Clinton Administration. He lived two floors above Monica Lewinsky in the Watergate apartments and was the contact between Bill and Monica. It is rumored that Bill, Chainsaw and Monica met at his apartment for Ménage à trois (which is French […]
Easter Bunny Training
“Spring has sprung… The grass has riz… I wonder where the bunnies is?” According to Chainsaw Chicken, they are all in advance Easter production.”There are a ton of Easter baskets needing to be filled with bunny eggs”. Consider the concept of changing over the process of what bunnies traditionally drop in the yard to something […]
Scarce As Hen’s Teeth
A saying from the 18th century, it is somewhat accurate for the phylum of domesticated chicken, Gallus Gallus Domestica. However, there is a superior specie called Carnivorous Gallus Ubiquitous that did, in fact, have a large, serrated, toothed upper and lower beak. Scientist have long postulated that current inherent fears of certain creatures came from years […]