It’s about time. In an agreement with Mattel, Chainsaw has introduced a new version of their classic ‘Magic 8-Ball’.
Many of us remember friends sitting around cross-legged in a circle. Each of us taking our turn asking the magic ball a deep and secret question out loud, then inverting the ball to see the answer slowly reveal itself in the blue fluid.
Questions like the ones the good kids ask, “Will I get an A on my math test?” or “Will Jimmy ask me to dance at the sock-hop?”
Then there’s the typical questions from kids like Chainsaw Chicken. “Will Linda make out with me at the party?” or “Will the police ever find that gun I threw into the landfill?”
Compare the simple and somewhat vague answers you used to get to the new answers Chainsaw has installed.
Old Answer → Chainsaw’s New Answer
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It is certain. → You need curtains.
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It is decidedly so. → It is deceptively so.
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Without a doubt. → Give them doubt.
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You may rely on it. → Are you kidding?
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Very doubtful. → We doubt you.
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As I see it, yes. → As I see it, it won’t matter.
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Most likely. → Most likely, but who cares?
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Outlook good. → Outlook bad, Firefox better.
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Signs point to yes. → Signs point at you.
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Hazy, try again. → Quit now while you are ahead.
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My reply is no. → Your email bounced.
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Outlook not so good. → Your fly is open.
