The secret is finally out. No more whispers in the coop, no more scribbled contracts on cocktail napkins at Comic-Con. It’s official: my new cartoon series is coming, and the target couldn’t be bigger.
Forget the endless reign of The Simpsons. Forget Bart’s spiky hair and Lisa’s saxophone solos. Their thirty-year squat on the throne is about to be over. Chainsaw Chicken is moving in.
WB Kids has cleared the runway. According to Oscar Disney — a distant, slightly sticky family relative of the other Disney, the one who got cut out of the inheritance — all restraints have been lifted. “Good taste,” he assured me, “is for the weak. We’re here to dethrone the Simpsons, not win Sunday School prizes.”
And so the previews begin. Gumby split down the middle. Bart sampling the serrated treatment. Pokey waiting nervously in the wings. Lisa’s turn is penciled in for sweeps week.
The WB Kids logo will still beam proudly in the corner, reminding parents everywhere that this is, technically speaking, children’s programming.
“All those sensitive to mild violence or sexual situations that could repel viewers are not the type of audience we want to steal from the Simpsons,” Disney explained. “Our viewers expect Chainsaw Chicken. And Chainsaw Chicken delivers.”
