Disney, Pixar, and Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd. have entered the final stages of approving Disney’s latest attempt to indoctrinate children and like-minded adults on the importance of identifying every character’s sexual orientation before the plot even starts. That was the stumbling block in finalizing this movie deal. First, let me tell you—Skippy and Scooter are […]
Her Halloween Spirit
Mrs. Chicken dances for Halloween while the candy goes stale. Halloween night arrived like a bad idea that wouldn’t stay buried.The neighborhood was ready for candy — but Mrs. Chicken had other plans. She’d spent all week sewing her “Golden Hen of Justice” outfit, complete with cape, belt, and a heroic disregard for local noise […]
Halloween Reflection
Chainsaw Chicken stood at the dresser mirror, tugging at the floppy horns stitched onto his cow suit. He straightened his shoulders, lifted his chin, and gave his best attempt at a “moo.” Behind him in the glass, Mrs. Chicken appeared, arms crossed, expression sharp enough to cut the stitching. “Are you supposed to be a […]
Studio Launch?
“Look at the studio Chainsaw is building. Why would he need all this? Who’s he planning to talk to…?” Good question. Even the techs don’t know. Every time one asks, Chainsaw just stares into the camera test pattern and whispers, “Soon.” The studio hums with LED panels, mixers, and broadcast gear that looks like it […]
Chainsaw Desk Statue
It was only a matter of time before the merchandising vultures swooped in. One day Chainsaw Chicken was a man trying to make sense of a world gone sideways; the next, he was a boxed collectible, shrink-wrapped and offered by Ronco. The statue was advertised as “life-like,” though that depended on how one defined life. […]
New- Risky Chicken
Finally! After weeks and weeks I suddenly was able to get an appointment with Bob Iger, the head of Disney. I learned that this appointment would also have Daria Cercek, President of Disney Live Action – Theatrical. She reports up to David Greenbaum, who is President of Disney Live Action overall. Plus a couple of […]
Chainsaw Comes to South Park
So, the other day, this new guy shows up in town, right? Nobody knew where he came from. He wasn’t like the weird hippies or the out-of-towners who usually blow through South Park. No—this guy was different. He looked like a regular dude, but with this freaky rubber chicken mask stuck on his head, like […]
Mystery Science Theater Guest
Are you a fan of Mystery Science Theater? Then grab your popcorn — and maybe a barf bag — because this Friday night at 10 PM, something fowl is taking over the Satellite of Love. That’s right. Chainsaw Chicken is guest-hosting a very special episode of MST3K! In a move that shocked no one and […]
Shark Week, Again
Yes, once again it’s Shark Week on the Discovery channel. It’s a series that the people seem to enjoy each year. It lines up with the story line introduced in the monumental shark movie ‘Jaws’ back in 1975 where Amity Island tries to cope with the sea killers. Since then, mid summer fun seems to […]
