It was a Turkey Invasion at my uncle’s home! What a slaughter! My uncle, George ‘Patton‘ Chicken knew how to deal with the intruders. With his home defense bat in the ready position you could hear him say famous lines from his namesake movie… “When you put your hand in a pile of goo that […]
Here’s Mud in Your Eye!
Profound Biden Wisdom
In a recent interview of the First Family, Chainsaw Chicken engaged the Biden’s from one of their multiple vacations in their Delaware home. As they responded to Chainsaw’s ‘softball’ questions, suddenly the world was given a lengthy explanation by the President that he believes could be the answer to many problems he sees in the […]
Treasure Found
What a good find! I have been looking for this 45 since 1963. It’s called “Chicken Feed” performed by ‘Bent Fabric and his piano’. Now you say, “who’s that???” Some will remember his hit “Alley Cat“, a tune that may be more familiar by hearing than knowing the title. ‘Chicken Feed’ is a record […]
Successful Dating
Dating can be very tricky now days. I see the very high frustration level on the other men’s faces, siting alone as I am in the back corner booth with my posse. While others worry about swipe right or left with online dating, I have learned what really works and keeps the ladies coming back, […]
Gordon Ramsay Questioned
The investigation into the series of missing members of Chainsaw Chicken’s family had a break though moment when Gordon Ramsay’s low rated show “Uncommon Dishes” showed a recipe for an authentic Chicken Pot Pie. “We’ve been loosing 8 to 12 young and vibrant chickens each evening with no clues as to what has been happening” […]
Ok… You Win
I was watching some old episodes of “Strange Love” the other night when all of a sudden I fell out of my lazy-boy. There was my crazy Uncle Sebastian flashing open his raincoat to a woman that looked like his widowed next-door neighbor lady, who was opening her coat, as well. Looks like a Mexican […]
She’s going threw them changes
Things are really changing around our coop. Mrs. Chicken has me alarmed. First she goes out and gets new hair-do. Then, she joins a Pilates class. Now, by themselves, these are fine and I welcome her desires to improve herself, although I always felt she was perfect just the way she was. Yet, more things […]
Bridges over foamy waters
I’m reminded of the time I was at a country dance bar with Mrs. Chicken’s niece. We were dancing it up for hours and drinking the suds to keep cool and hydrated. Now, I know what you are thinking but it is all ‘platonic‘… really. We had one room but we each had a separate […]
Do the Chicken Dance
Chicken Dance The “Chicken Dance”, also known as the Bird Song, the Birdie Song, the Bird Dance or the Chicken Song, is an oom-pah song; its associated fad dance is now a contemporary dance throughout the Western world. The song was composed by accordion player Werner Thomas from Davos, Switzerland, in the 1950s. […]
Klaatu Barada Nikto
With all the news cropping up about UFOs and the video information ‘leaking’ to the National media, it’s time that I finally come clean and lay out the facts and truth as I know it. You can laugh, snicker or ignore this ever increasing event but it will be to your detriment. You see, I […]
Lou with Chicken Warrior
Warrior Chicken is the name of a famous character from the era of the late ’70’s. His growing fan base was simply amazing. As the series “The Incredible Hulk” was beginning to really see sagging viewership, it was suggested by Bill Bixby that “maybe the hulk could join forces with Warrior Chicken in some crossover […]
Next Star Wars Movie
While there has been no announcement of a “next” movie, Chainsaw is at the ready to fit in. His new concept is R2D2 and C3PO had an unexplained baby named UpYRS2. This special little bundle is cute and asexual so as to not to offend anyone. The metal covering on the baby rotates through the […]
New Job
Since the new trend of the ‘woke crowd’ is to cancel and eliminate anything to do with the with the oil industry or it’s related products and Chainsaw’s history with petroleum products, he figured he should take on a new job. Not long ago every political leader and talk show host on daytime TV said […]
90210 Mushroom Feeder
I love mushrooms. Don’t you? I am speaking of the eating type, not the recreational ones. There are so many types with unique flavors, colors and textures. I especially enjoy Portobello or Shiitake or Maitake but I’m not sure about those Luke-o-bello’s or even the Perry-takie. Why do you ask? You see, when Luke Perry […]
Have Gun Will Cluck
It’s new series season again. Chainsaw Chicken has developed a concept package that he has been offering which flashes back to when Westerns were so popular on the small screen. Chainsaw takes literary license by borrowing from several previously successful shows, tosses them into a visual blender, spins on 12 for a minute and then […]
Covid Entertainer
***PRESS RELEASE*** In an effort to try to get back to ‘Normal’ rather than living with a ‘New Normal‘ as well as to try to make people more comfortable with the aspect of Covid in everyday life, Mrs. Chicken has decided to relaunch her entertainment career. She is now doing song and dance numbers to […]
Cadbury Egg Winner
The winner of the Cadbury Egg Bunny Contest has been announced. It is questionable at best. It seems that Cadbury took a shine to this Polaroid photo submitted of my evil twin, Calloway Chicken, seen here in a dirty alley. He is nasty, grungy looking, as usual, only this time photographed wearing bunny ears. Calloway […]
Instruction Book
Has this ever happened to you? You are in a casual meeting with other friends or co-works, and they begin to use slang words and expressions you simply do not understand. What do you do? Do you just nod in acceptance to what they are expressing? Do you feel that you want to add to […]
Mission Plot
Back in 1965, Desilu Productions gave the green light for the pilot of a TV series where a group of very talented spies would foil plans of others around the world that might be doing harm to the balance of power around them. Wow! Who wouldn’t enjoy that series? Well, it seems that Desi Arnez […]