I am at my breaking point. It’s getting so that I can’t go anywhere without seeing people that are trying to steal my identity, pretending to be me. Impostors, impersonators, fakes like stolen valor of sorts. Just last weekend, I was at the park with Mrs. Chicken along with my nieces and nephews, Slomo, Sluggo, […]
Bank Robbery Gone Wrong
There I was, at the window, making a deposit to my account at the Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd credit union, when two masked men came in to rob the bank. It was so frightful! One of the desperadoes stood right behind me! His gun pointed at employees. He shouted “This is a robbery! Everyone do […]
Egg-Laying Chicken for Rent
“Yo homie! You be lookin’ for some eggs? My posse got chew covered! “My’man… Take a gander at my stable and pick what Lay-dee you can use. You gets to keep all the little hard-shelled juniors she puts in your crib! “Step off if you can’t pay for the gain but stay to play if […]
The Feel of Vinyl
I’m not sure if Mrs. Chicken is trying have fun with me or if she’s serious. She talked me into wearing one of these all-over vinyl suit, mask and all. I have trouble breathing and it is hot. I sweat like the dickens when I wear it. She says she thinks I look like a […]
I feel better now
I really do feel better now. Just had my last ECT treatment. The full medical name is Electroconvulsive therapy. Things seem so much clearer now. Why did I ever question things like the elections, vaccinations, origins of covid, the ‘laptop from hell’ and soy being put in everything? Sure, I was a little obsessive about […]
A New Pecking Order
You’d think that Chainsaw Chicken lived at the 118th Congress. There’s this interloper that has decided to roost in his place and he has challenged Chainsaw in the pecking order. They’ve gone back and forth as leader of the house 15 times! He needs Mrs. Chicken to step in. Just hope she doesn’t vote ‘present’.
Taking the Deep Dive
In an attempt to be the first, Chainsaw Chicken has made arrangements to walk from San Fransisco, California to Honolulu, Hawaii… under water. We know that the popular notion is that it is simply impossible to travel that far under water. But, in the age of identifying one’s self as “whatever I need to be”, […]
Dog Attacks Family
It seems that tragedy is always standing arms length from the Chainsaw Chicken family. Last weekend was no exception. As the family enjoyed a simple picnic at a local park, little did they know that a paralyzing event was about to happen. As the family enjoyed their pickle loaf sandwiches and basked in the warm […]
Ancient Mating Ritual
With our anniversary happening, the Mrs and I decided to reenact an age old ritual from our ancient Galliformes clan. It’s a performance of the male chicken (can we still say that?) posing over the female in a subservient position ( I’m SURE we can’t say that!). In order to actually get to do this, […]
Put on Bread & Water
The Mrs. put me on bread & water again. I know, I know… She probably feels she was entitled to do it. And I may have actually earned it but who’s to say? I might submit that it is a matter of point of view. Here are MY facts. All I did was go next […]