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The Mrs. had a tough night

The Mrs. had a tough night

I’m speaking to the husbands in this editorial. Ever had the li’l lady tell you she was going to go out for a drink or two with friends from work? One of the ‘girls’ is going threw some tough times Oh yes… Sounds so innocent, doesn’t it? Her and a couple of female friends from […]

Tribute Toy

Tribute Toy

If you remember Black and White television, the Beatles visiting New York City or ‘Leave it to Beaver’ on TV, you probably remember the Dipping Bird. Now, back by popular demand, Ronco with K-tel records and Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd is offering a commemorative tribute replica for sale. Granted, we’ve made a few changes. Most […]

The Girls Showers

The Girls Showers

With a noticeable tremble in his hands and his voice, Chainsaw swallowed hard and dabbed the sweat beads on his brow. “This….. is…. the…the… girls showers!” He paused, moving around, shifting his weight from one foot to another…. “This was sacred ground when I was in school. It was literally ‘no mans land’ to us […]

Chicken who?

Chicken who?

“Hello there! How ya doing? Are your enjoying this county fair?” Chainsaw asked as he worked his way through the poultry exhibits. No answer came from the red chicken he was addressing. “I’m a sponsor of this area of the exhibit. That’s my logo behind you and you can see my web site address plastered […]

Smiling Assassin

Smiling Assassin

Tragedy reared it’s ugly head in our home this week. When Mrs. Chicken and I returned from the gala at the Met, we found Rodney, our neighbor. He likes, ahhh…(pause) ‘liked’ to dress as if he was a member of our family. He was watching the summer finale of America’s Got Talent at our place […]

Machu Picchu Lawn Service

Machu Picchu Lawn Service

Isn’t Machu Picchu beautiful? The stone and grass make such a pleasing image. But you might be asking, “Grass? At 8,000 feet above sea-level? How curious. That must take a real professional yard service to keep it all looking so neat and trimmed with such color”. Let me introduce to you how these patches of […]

Treasure Found

Treasure Found

  What a good find!  I have been looking for this 45 since 1963. It’s called “Chicken Feed” performed by ‘Bent Fabric and his piano’. Now you say, “who’s that???”  Some will remember his hit “Alley Cat“, a tune that may be more familiar by hearing than knowing the title. ‘Chicken Feed’ is a record […]

New Mustache

New Mustache

The other day I was digging around in my underwear drawer trying to find a special pair I had for anniversary and birthday occasions. I kept pulling the drawer out further and further, but they were gone. One can only speculate as to where they ended up. However, I did find something I had completely […]

Chicken Scratch

Chicken Scratch

Chainsaw has submitted his autobiography for publication. We have an excerpt from the coming Best Seller called “Chicken Scratch”     Eddie’s Security    

Ok… You Win

Ok… You Win

I was watching some old episodes of “Strange Love” the other night when all of a sudden I fell out of my lazy-boy. There was my crazy Uncle Sebastian flashing open his raincoat to a woman that looked like his widowed next-door neighbor lady, who was opening her coat, as well. Looks like a Mexican […]

Help Find Huey

Help Find Huey

With tears in her eyes, Krissy Bobkins hangs another poster about her missing pet, Huey, her pet chicken. “He’s been gone for days now” she muttered through a tissue drying her eyes. “I swear, I miss him so much, it’s seems like I hear him sometimes, saying desperate words  like “Help”, “I can’t breathe” and […]

Who’s in the Go-Go boots?

Who’s in the Go-Go boots?

I was helping Grand dad Chicken clean out his room and pack things up as we decided to take him to the ‘home’ for more care than we can give him. “Have you got all your desk draws empty?” I asked Grand dad. “I think so”, he said. I pulled the draw out and there […]

We play Gov and Assistant

We play Gov and Assistant

Mrs. Chicken and I need to thank you, Governor Cuomo. You have brought something special into our marriage without you even knowing us. Last week I was sitting on the couch with Mrs. Chicken when she put her arm around my shoulders. I told her “that was no way to treat the Governor of this […]

Sacrifice event

Sacrifice event

I found this photo in the back room at the community hall where I sometimes visit. There it was. It was all framed and hanging on the wall but obscured behind a bookshelf.. I took it down and went to the Grand Poobah to find out what it was from. “Your Majesty, Chainsaw requests a […]

Stool Pigeon

Stool Pigeon

They are after me! They are using any method they can to get me. Just like the Attorney General of New York has been quoted to say, “Show me the man, I’ll show you the crime!” This “Stool Pigeon” just kept spewing all kinds of indictments about me! I’ve heard he said things like; “He’s […]

Keep Calm Statue

Keep Calm Statue

This statue was brought to Britain 119 years ago. It was removed from display at Cambridge University in 2006 over a ‘racism’ claim. The bronze cockerel, was known as the Okukor. IN 2006, the College’s student union passed a motion. They insisted it should be returned to present day Nigeria after they claimed British troops […]

Happy Mom’s Day!

Happy Mom’s Day!

Today we celebrate Mom’s everywhere. We collectively all celebrate the concept of ‘mothers’ and how we appreciate all their care, attention and loving in our lives. My mother is no exception. Sure, there are some mothers that may have been more care-givers, maybe more understanding, but none that were more affected by the results of […]

Have Gun Will Cluck

Have Gun Will Cluck

It’s new series season again. Chainsaw Chicken has developed a concept package that he has been offering which flashes back to when Westerns were so popular on the small screen. Chainsaw takes literary license by borrowing from several previously successful shows, tosses them into a visual blender, spins on 12 for a minute and then […]