Reserve office Brownfinger Chicken volunteered to assist in helping keep your Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings safe by enforcing the State’s policy of limiting your gatherings to 6 people, preferably from your own household. This socially woke crew randomly patrols, looking for homes that appear to have a slightly excessive amount of cars in the driveway. […]
Chicken Choking
A new study focuses specifically on the benefits of chicken choking, research suggests that chicken choking, including strangulation through chicken choking, is rumored do the following: reduce stress release tension enhance sleep quality boost constipation elevate mood relieve pin feathers aggravate sprains improve droppings Chicken choking has also been identified as a strategy to improve […]
First COVID-19 Birth
With all the “stay home and stay safe” and “flatten the curve” we all knew the birth rate would not stop. Mr. & Mrs. Chicken would like to announce the arrival of their chick they named Downy. Downy’s shell began to crack late last night and at 8:32 am the shell finally broke through making […]
G’ma’s Photo Album
Watching all those family get together commercials kinda got me reminiscing. So I drove over to Grandma ‘Bubbles’ Chicken home and sat her down on the couch. “Dear Grandma Bubbles” I said, “I want to just chat with you about your life, before Gramps, say back in high school. Can we take a stroll down […]
Your BF’s phone
You just never know… Wait until he’s asleep. Grab his phone, hold it up to his face to unlock the bio-metric lock and take a gander. You won’t believe your eye’s. He’s been feathering text messages all over town. You are so trusting, so honest, so faithful. How could this be? That long lunch with […]
New Chicken Little
Mothman Photographed
Mothman is a humanoid moth-like creature reportedly seen in the Point Pleasant area of West Virginia, November 15, 1966 and has not resurfaced for years until recently. Chainsaw Chicken has submitted this photo claiming it is Mothman taken two days ago in the Pt. Pleasant’s legendary T.N.T storage area. He was even able to record […]
Warrior of the year
After years of service, Lofty Chicken was honored with the title of “Warrior of the Year” by Soldier of Fortune Magazine. The celebrations started on last Saturday in Las Vegas and appears to still be continuing. There has been evening meeting at “the Chicken Ranch” where discussions center of entertainment and recreation. Lock and Load, […]
LGBT? I’m Confused!
I remember LBJ as a President. But LBJ and LGBT initials don’t line up. Not enough letters. Well, I drove a MGB-GT years ago. That’s closer to the same initials, but not a good fit. It must mean when Lyndon Johnson drove his own MGB-GT. That must be it. Right? I’ll find out more at […]
Chainsaw Chicken Cartoons
The secret is finally out. No more whispers in the coop, no more scribbled contracts on cocktail napkins at Comic-Con. It’s official: my new cartoon series is coming, and the target couldn’t be bigger. Forget the endless reign of The Simpsons. Forget Bart’s spiky hair and Lisa’s saxophone solos. Their thirty-year squat on the throne […]