“You’s guys must respect his works and acheivemental accolades” piped Sonny-Boys as they vacationed at the Florida shore. “How’s ya’s thunk he earns his ‘nick’?… ‘Chainsaw’? He buzzed them undesirables into breakfast sausage.” The Capo’s all posed for a remembrance photo. Seen on the far left is Errol “The horse” (he owns a stable I […]
Ryan the Raker
Future in Print
My father used to get these looks. Not all the time, but once in a while he’d drift off, then turn to me and mutter, “Chainsaw, one day you’ll be known to the world. Not through radio or papers, but something called the inter-web. Folks will turn to you for advice. Logic, even.” Sure, Dad. […]
Not Based On Looks
A few years ago, Kraft Paper Products hosted the first beauty contest where the contestants we not allowed to show their face, thus judging was based on overall beauty rather than just facial looks. See if you can spot Mrs. Chainsaw. She got 4th place giving her a 2 year supply of Kraft Macaroni and […]
New Test For Sanity
Finally, there is a ‘fool-proof’ test for your mental sanity and stability. This test was developed by Prof. Poppycock Chicken to instantly diagnose the sanity and psychosis someone may be suffering from. Start by gazing at the the stationary Blue/Yellow orbs in the rows. If they are not moving, then you are okay and have […]
A refund before we go
Last Friday, as I was on my way out to go clubbing with Caitlin Jenner, I had to swing by Walmart to take back an item. When I got up to the agent she asked for the item to be refunded. I had a slice of pizza in the bag from one of their pre-made […]
Easter Bunny Training
“Spring has sprung… The grass has riz… I wonder where the bunnies is?” According to Chainsaw Chicken, they are all in advance Easter production.”There are a ton of Easter baskets needing to be filled with bunny eggs”. Consider the concept of changing over the process of what bunnies traditionally drop in the yard to something […]
Yugo Limo for Hire
Always ready to take advantage of a deal when it rolls around, Chainsaw has purchased this very hard to find and extremely unique Yugo custom limousine from a Croatian car dealer. “There’s row after row of seating. It’s very special. Just in time for prom and the Wine tours. I only wish there would have […]
Remember Jr. High girls?
Think back to those Junior High or Middle School dances. The gym is decorated but is generally dark. The refreshment table is better illuminated with some bagged cookies laid out and a punch bowl with some small paper cups lined up. You and the guys are in small groups of a dozen or so talking […]
‘Crocky’ Finally Located
Known for his hi jinks and tom-foolery, ‘Crocky’ Chicken, (born Eugene Palmaroy Chicken) was finally located yesterday. He was an employee at the Queensland Regional Dangerous Animal Park. Rumor had it that he had walked away from his job after failing to appears for the third sequential personal safety meeting. “Sheba”, the star salt-water croc, […]