Emergency services were called today to give assistance to one of my cousins, Hardwick Chicken. There was an unfortunate accident. It seems that Hardwick, while stepping out of the shower and drying off was approached by his dog. Feeling in an unusually frisky mood, decided to chase after the dog, playfully pulling on his tail, […]
Looking for Love
As it turns out, Cupid was the ancient Roman god of love and counterpart to the Greek god Eros. According to mythology, Cupid was one of the sons of Mercury, the winged messenger of the gods, and Venus, the goddess of love. He was often portrayed as a baby with wings carrying a bow and […]
Search and Destroy
Chainsaw Chicken has accepted the task no one seems willing to do anything about. He has decided to take on those damn SPAM CALLERS with orders to ‘search and destroy’. Using the method practiced in the Vietnam war when we were actually trying to win, he is planning on daily interdiction raids as well as […]
Help Wanted
Help Wanted: We are growing into a woke company and we are now accepting applications for the position of Regional Organic Media Agitator. Applicants for this entry-level position need to possess the following skills and requirements; Successfully completed bachelor-level accreditation in social awareness Have social media account that we can inspect and quantify the amount […]
Moose? Why not Mine?
I’m sure you’ve heard about items made from Moose excrement, as well as quail and other critters where they fashion their droppings into other cute or decorative things. I had to ask myself, “Why not do the same?” Now I would like to offer some items made from my poop. Remember, even though a big […]
Gunga Galunga
Who can forget Carl’s story-telling about the time he was a looper for the Dali Lama… “So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one – big hitter, the Lama – long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do […]
Unwanted Attention
With the rapid and overwhelming popularity of Chainsaw Chicken emerging throughout the Western World, there are bound to be imposters, fakes, impersonators, body doubles, doppelgangers, clones and mimics. Here is an example that simply numbs the mind. Chainsaw stated, when viewing this photo, “OMG! I’d never wear a partial grass skirt while doing this. How […]
Dad’s Aunt’s
I tell ya, I was really confused growing up because of dad’s family. With all his family members running in and out of the house, but not all the time. I remember one time mom flew home to see grandma Bubbles (on a plane…stupid!) Any way, the whole time she was away and I mean […]
The Emu is OUT!
That’s right! The Emu is gone. “We’re tired of chasing that stupid angry bird all over the studio lot” said the production manager of those ongoing Liberty Mutual commercials. “We need something more manageable”. Time for nephew Tab Chicken to step in. Tab is a struggling print model that was told at a young age […]
Steamed Tenders
New Years Resolution in action! Chainsaw and his twin sisters, Lavern and Shirley, have pledged that this year they are going to do what it takes to lose those unwanted extra Covid-19 pounds. Like the commercials say, our work is just too close to the refrigerator, or in our case to close to the grain […]