The Senate Judicial Committee has been notified of more Brett Kavanaugh allegations. The committee was stunned to learn that Choo Choo Chicken, AKA “Train Puller’ Chicken, (an admitted gang swinger) attended a party in in the Delaware area. He admitted that he intentionally got the Supreme Court nominee drunk and had his way with him. […]
Toasted G-Strings
Imagine the explanations that will spill from their mouths when they try to explain the hand print burned into their toasted g-strings. It’s the simple things. After all, chickens will be chickens. Grüne Polizei
Make Chickens Great Again
You’ve seen the news. We all have. Chainsaw Chicken was embroiled in an media firestorm of misleading issues and misrepresented motives surrounding this confrontation. The ‘face-off’ was not with Nicolas Cage as this reference would suggest but with a leader of the Turkeyite Tribe, a small native American group, known for their worship of the […]
One Win – 22 Losses
Most people do not realize that Chainsaw Chicken was on the varsity basketball team with a young Barack Obama at Punahou High School. This team had the longest loosing record in Hawaii’s high school history. This specific season, the record was 22 losses and one win. This win was because the opposing team, the Hawaii […]
More Russian Collusion
Again, the treat of Russian Collusion has reared its’ ugly head! Chainsaw Chicken has been arrested by the Special Prosecution headed by Robert Mueller. His crime? He willfully and knowingly listed the 1982 movie ‘Red Dawn’ (the original one with Patrick Swayze , not the remake with Thor fighting off a North Korea invasion) as […]
Kneel ‘baby’!
Colin Kaepernick, I have a message too… Much like Colin’s message, only different. It is as follows: “Believe Anything. Even if it means sacrificing something.” Chainsaw Chicken Peeps
Happy Birthday, Mr. Chicken
This is a covert photo of Chainsaw Chicken and Marilyn Monroe in a private room after she gave President Kennedy her now famous ‘cat-call’ birthday rendition of the children classic song, which she sang at his birthday party in 1961. Later, she was disappointed to learn how roosters approach love-making in an entirely different way […]
North Korea Missile Launch
North Korea shook its chubby little hand at the Western World last week when they launched the Pyongyang’s version of a sea-launched ballistic missile. Chick-Jong-Phew, (seen here with the official country haircut), Supreme Leader of North Korea, witnessed the launch of the ‘Zypie Whon’. An unguided collection of king-size bottle-rockets wrapped together and dipped into […]
Chainsaw, Bill and Monica
Chainsaw Chicken (seen sitting at the desk behind) was the exclusive cigar merchant for the Clinton Administration. He lived two floors above Monica Lewinsky in the Watergate apartments and was the contact between Bill and Monica. It is rumored that Bill, Chainsaw and Monica met at his apartment for Ménage à trois (which is French […]
More Yearbook Trouble
Going back into someone’s past has become quiet fashionable within the media. Chainsaw Chicken is not immune to this practice so he has released his yearbook photo page from his 6th year at Whatsamatta University. Chainsaw stated “I have never seen this yearbook until the press pointed out this page. I have ordered a copy […]