No matter how many times you hear about needing special glasses to look at the eclipsing sun… Someone thinks it doesn’t apply to him or her. My ‘brilliant’ brother-in-law, Andrew Leghorn was the one. Now blinded for life after gazing for an estimated 10 mins at the latest solar event. All I can say to […]
Second Space Walk
In March 1965, at the age of 30, Soviet cosmonaut Alexei Leonov made the first spacewalk in history, beating out rival Chainsaw Chicken on Gemini 4 by almost three months. Chainsaw did, however, release a fertilized egg into space in hopes that some Alien species might find it and realize that there are other life […]
Space Station Breach
‘Buzz’ (short for Buzzard) Chicken, nephew to my cousin. Glenn Chicken has been on the latest International Space Station orbiting Mars. He and another Astronaut from India named Curry Punjab have been on the space station for three years. Just the two of them. At least until the unfortunate accident last year when Curry electrocuted […]
Brighten The Day
Yes… Ritalin will brighten your day! It will be so bright that your brain will need extra-dark sunglasses!!! If you feel your ‘inner chicken’ needs brightened, ask your doctor for an adult size dose of Ritalin. You’re probably gonna have these Side Effects Addiction, (duh) Nervousness including agitation, AnXiEtY and irritability Trouble sleeping (when’s my […]
1st Bullet-Proof Vest
Cousin Markus ‘Bullseye’ Chicken was the first to test the creation of a bullet proof vest. The idea of being able to stop bullets were developed after the creation of some of the first super hero comic books, ‘Superman’. Imagine, someone that could resist bullets. Next was work on creating a means to ‘leap tall […]
Evolution Is In The News
Back in the news is the new evidence of evolution within the scientific community with the discovery of a prehistoric Great Ape that has become identified. Found in the jungles of Borneo, this mummified carcass of an unknown offshoot species supports that my relatives evolved from apes. Many called this the ‘Missing Link’ that finally […]
Free Clinic Dr. Returns
Doctor DeBakie Chicken learned that his mail order degree from a Caribbean University is adequate to conduct medical exams at the Free Clinic. A celebration was held at the clinic and office had to double book appointments with the news. So a second bed was wheeled in to each exam room and he started doing […]
Free Clinic Dr. Arrested
Police arrested Doctor DeBakie Chicken when it is was learned that he was in fact working with a mail order degree from a Caribbean University. DeBakie was offering free gynecological visits and exams at this clinic. Critics sited that in the 4 years he has practiced he has never treated a single patient, he would […]
Hydrotherapy Trials
Following the introduction of hydrotherapy to the U.S., John Harvey Kellogg employed its use at Battle Creek Sanitarium, which opened in 1866, where he strove to improve the scientific foundation for hydrotherapy for mentally ill patients. Quincy Hornblower Chicken, (no relation) was one of the first to be studied and attempt to receive a cure […]
Teaching Others To Fly
It’s a scientific fact chickens can’t fly. They are classified as ‘flightless’ Chainsaw recognizes this fact. “It’s like fighting Murphy’s Law” said Chainsaw. With that in mind, Chainsaw had taken on the study of the ACME rocket company popularized in the roadrunner cartoons to develop a fully maneuverable, rocket propelled carriage for all flightless animals, […]