Yes… Ritalin will brighten your day!

It will be so bright that your brain will need extra-dark sunglasses!!!

If you feel  your ‘inner chicken’ needs brightened, ask your doctor for an adult size dose of Ritalin.

You’re probably gonna have these Side Effects

  • Addiction, (duh)
  • Nervousness including agitation, AnXiEtY  and irritability
  • Trouble sleeping (when’s my next dose)
  • Decreased appetite (that’s the purpose, right?)
  • Headache
  • Stomach ache
  • Nausea (stand back)
  • Dizziness
  • Heart palpitations

and then there’s these…

  • Slowing of growth (height and weight)
  • Seizures, (your property as well as physically)
  • Eyesight changes or blurred vision (from costume disguises)

But still, there’s more…

  • High blood pressure
  • Rapid pulse rate (and other heart problems)
  • Tolerance (constant need to raise the dose, give me MORE))
  • Feelings of suspicion and paranoia (who’s saying that?)
  • Visual hallucinations (oh I see you now)
  • Depression (but who cares? I don’t)
  • Cocaine craving (I got that monkey on my back)
  • Dermatoses (those are just new birth marks)
  • Urinary tract infection (I’m pissing razor blades! Ahhhhhhh!)
  • Infection or viral infection (my gums are bleeding….and what happened to my nose?)