“Shut up and listen!” shouted Mortimer Chickmeier. “Get that cowboy crap out of your head”. “Yeah, but Morti, I mean,… ah, what about ‘Cheyenne’, ‘Sugarfoot’, ‘Maverick’, ‘Wagon Train’, ‘Colt .45’, ‘Wyatt Earp’, ‘Wanted – Dead or Alive’, ‘Bonanza’, ‘The Rifleman’, ‘Laramie’, ‘The Big Valley’, ‘Have Gun will Travel’ and then there’s ‘Gun Smoke’. They’ve been […]
Uber Eats Driver
With all the restrictions about doing this or that BUT you can still order your greasy tacos or that meatball sub by using Uber Eats. And what do you get using this COVID leveraged service? You get a cold meal that has been waiting in the fast food restaurants counter for driver like Chainsaw to […]
Chickenator
In a new move to revitalize the creative ideas in the film industry, rather than simply remaking older successful movies (now days called a reboot), a new treatment is getting attention. Chainsaw Chicken is proposing blending two characters of movie fame. In this case, it is Conan the Barbarian with the Terminator, an indestructible cyborg-assassin. […]
Schedule Changed
OFFICIAL NOTICE: It appears that we will not be able to honor tickets purchased for the next show in the Nevada desert. However, if you are willing to hold on to your reservations, it appears that the next opportunity to attend this explosive show will be after January 20th of 2021. These events appear to […]
Covid in Obamaville
So far, like with everyone, it’s been a year, for sure! First we had the results of the Obama administration with all the unemployment and over taxation causing this delightful town to rename itself from Sunnyville to Obamaville. Then this covid crap has us on our final legs. No businesses here qualified for any Federal […]
Parking Lots Chicken Stand
As you cruise through the Midwest you might see a new item that is popping up. Launching now is Chainsaw Chicken Roadside Shops. That’s right. Showing at Walmart parking lots, Swap meets and the occasional wide spots in the road, you may find Fred Gunar with his grand son Lunar Gunar. They set up and […]
Lethal Chicken Gun
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about the […]
Your BF’s phone
You just never know… Wait until he’s asleep. Grab his phone, hold it up to his face to unlock the bio-metric lock and take a gander. You won’t believe your eye’s. He’s been feathering text messages all over town. You are so trusting, so honest, so faithful. How could this be? That long lunch with […]
New Chicken Little
Project Bluebook ’61
Date: Sept. 17, 1961 Location: Van Dyke Turnpike area, Troy, OH Incident Report: Rooster child named Chainsaw Chicken, age 5, was reported to be missing for 4 hours on this date. When finally discovered, he had no explanation at all as to where he had been except to say he saw a ‘bright light’ and […]