After the scene where this beautiful car is destroyed in the previous Bond movie ‘Skyfall’, Chainsaw Chicken purchased the salvage rights to the heap. A little bubblegum and bailing wire later and ‘voila’ he had his own DB-5. Unfortunately, he did not realize that the car they destroyed in the movie was the frame of […]
Sheen Announcement
Chainsaw Chicken announced today that he was informed by Charlie Sheen of his HIV status before they engaged in any consensual relationship. Chainsaw Chicken added that he demanded that they wash hands several times each day and that they wear protective footwear. Truth is, we shared several ‘chick’s’. Epstein’s Other Painting
Lessons to my Gina
Starlet Gina Lollobrigida as she became a world wide sensation. Her sexy pout you see here was a special act Chainsaw Coached her to use. As time went on they later became engaged and it went all the way to the that final day at the alter but when Chainsaw Chicken learned that she had […]
Not Based On Looks
A few years ago, Kraft Paper Products hosted the first beauty contest where the contestants we not allowed to show their face, thus judging was based on overall beauty rather than just facial looks. See if you can spot Mrs. Chainsaw. She got 4th place giving her a 2 year supply of Kraft Macaroni and […]
Yuckin’ it up with Chevy
Originally cast as Judge Elihu Smails, Chainsaw Chicken had a very open and progressive bond and ‘bromance’ with Chevy Chase. It was Chainsaw’s idea to do ‘Groundhog Day’ and he brought it to Chevy but Chevy passed on it in order to do his ill-fated talk show. Bill Murry then accepted the part and the […]
Happy Birthday, Mr. Chicken
This is a covert photo of Chainsaw Chicken and Marilyn Monroe in a private room after she gave President Kennedy her now famous ‘cat-call’ birthday rendition of the children classic song, which she sang at his birthday party in 1961. Later, she was disappointed to learn how roosters approach love-making in an entirely different way […]
Google Self-Driving Car
Chainsaw Chicken was selected as an honorary member to receive the new Google Self-Driving car. “It was such a surprise to open the front door and see this parked in front of my coop. I simply don’t have a way to express my thanks. I guess this means I don’t need to go through the […]
New Test For Sanity
Finally, there is a ‘fool-proof’ test for your mental sanity and stability. This test was developed by Prof. Poppycock Chicken to instantly diagnose the sanity and psychosis someone may be suffering from. Start by gazing at the the stationary Blue/Yellow orbs in the rows. If they are not moving, then you are okay and have […]
A refund before we go
Last Friday, as I was on my way out to go clubbing with Caitlin Jenner, I had to swing by Walmart to take back an item. When I got up to the agent she asked for the item to be refunded. I had a slice of pizza in the bag from one of their pre-made […]
North Korea Missile Launch
North Korea shook its chubby little hand at the Western World last week when they launched the Pyongyang’s version of a sea-launched ballistic missile. Chick-Jong-Phew, (seen here with the official country haircut), Supreme Leader of North Korea, witnessed the launch of the ‘Zypie Whon’. An unguided collection of king-size bottle-rockets wrapped together and dipped into […]