Once we heard the welcoming message posted throughout Martha’s Vineyard, Chainsaw and his whole family decided to relocate to that wanting island. We traded eggs for a great big school bus that had been used by a local organic commune. They had decided to go ‘all-electric’ using rechargeable flashlight batteries on a used Chevy Volt. […]
Chuck’s Groom of the Stool
With the beginning of a new Royal Dynasty, Albert Reginald Chicken III has volunteered to assume the role his family has occupied, dating back 100’s of years. What role could that be? Well… his family has been ‘Groom of the Stool’. Generational training continued over the century’s, never knowing if their specialized services would be […]
Ancient Mating Ritual
With our anniversary happening, the Mrs and I decided to reenact an age old ritual from our ancient Galliformes clan. It’s a performance of the male chicken (can we still say that?) posing over the female in a subservient position ( I’m SURE we can’t say that!). In order to actually get to do this, […]
Where’s Grandma Vodka?
‘Chicken Magazine’ Cover
Now, Chainsaw Chicken has joined the ranks of Christie Brinkley, Chrissy Teigen, Farrah Fawcett and Alfred E. Newman as successful magazine cover models. Check the news stands for this months issue of ‘Chickens Magazine’. There you will find Chainsaw enjoying a plate full of morning fresh eggs. From this exposure big things have been happening. […]
Chicken Attracted Person
Balenciaga has formally apologized for an advertising campaign featuring Chicken abduction for bondage. The new name for this bestiality is ‘Chicken Attracted Person’. The response from the news and media has been next to nothing. It’s been postulated that the lack of coverage is the result of sounding like the are defending Chicken Attracted People […]
“Oh the humanity of it all”
Ever have a loose tooth and wiggling it made it hurt so good? Or scratching a bite that you know you are gonna make things worse but it feels so right? That’s the way I feel about Hilary being photographed wearing one of my Chainsaw Chicken baseball caps. Thanks for the notoriety of wearing my […]
Priceless Chicken Troll Doll
You might own one of these priceless Chainsaw Chicken Troll Dolls and not be aware. Check that junk drawer. Go threw that pile of stored stuff in your mothers attic. Search the shelves of Goodwill and tables at swap meets. Dedicate your Saturdays to going to all the garage sales where you live. But why […]
Social Media Influencer
In the manner of other great social media influencers, Chainsaw has begun his campaigns to persuade you to consider products you might not actually need. Mimicking the routine of notable influencers such as the infamous Khloé Kardashian, Dixie D’Amelio, and the special David Hogg, Chainsaw invites you to follow his revaluations on the social sites […]
Chicken-Human Clone
A stunning clandestine video was secreted out today of a chicken-human clone strutting around a laboratory grounds. The clones handlers can be seen guiding and protecting this one of a kind experiment. Questions started being asked. “Was this another project from a Wuhan lab?” “Is this an offspring from some alien coupling with a ‘birthing […]