The chief financial officer of Tyson Chicken was arrested in Arkansas over the weekend after he entered a random woman’s home while intoxicated and fell asleep in her bed, according to police. The CFO, was found asleep at the home in Fayetteville on Sunday at 2:05 a.m., according to the preliminary arrest report. Tyson’s headquarters […]
New A.I. Competitor
The new money making idea in the corporate world is artificial intelligence. Called A.I. The usual names we all think of have been investing Billions into this technology. All in the hopes to come out ahead of the rest of the pack to get the ‘big bucks’. Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd has jumped into the […]
Sotheby’s Auction Item
In Sotheby’s Auctions latest Catalog, page 12, you will find a mint quality 8-track tape, apparently treasured by Ottis Dewey Whitman, Jr. And who was this Ottis guy? You probably know him as Slim Whitman. Yes, Slim Whitman. A favorite artist to tens of millions of listeners from senior centers and rest home facilities throughout […]
Arrival at Martha’s Vineyard
Once we heard the welcoming message posted throughout Martha’s Vineyard, Chainsaw and his whole family decided to relocate to that wanting island. We traded eggs for a great big school bus that had been used by a local organic commune. They had decided to go ‘all-electric’ using rechargeable flashlight batteries on a used Chevy Volt. […]
Chuck’s Groom of the Stool
With the beginning of a new Royal Dynasty, Albert Reginald Chicken III has volunteered to assume the role his family has occupied, dating back 100’s of years. What role could that be? Well… his family has been ‘Groom of the Stool’. Generational training continued over the century’s, never knowing if their specialized services would be […]
Ancient Mating Ritual
With our anniversary happening, the Mrs and I decided to reenact an age old ritual from our ancient Galliformes clan. It’s a performance of the male chicken (can we still say that?) posing over the female in a subservient position ( I’m SURE we can’t say that!). In order to actually get to do this, […]
Where’s Grandma Vodka?
‘Chickens Magazine’ Cover
Now, Chainsaw Chicken has joined the ranks of Christie Brinkley, Chrissy Teigen, Farrah Fawcett and Alfred E. Newman as successful magazine cover models. Check the news stands for this months issue of ‘Chickens Magazine’. There you will find Chainsaw enjoying a plate full of morning fresh eggs. From this exposure big things have been happening. […]
Chicken Attracted Person
Balenciaga has formally apologized for an advertising campaign featuring Chicken abduction for bondage. The new name for this bestiality is ‘Chicken Attracted Person’. The response from the news and media has been next to nothing. It’s been postulated that the lack of coverage is the result of sounding like the are defending Chicken Attracted People […]
“Oh the humanity of it all”
Ever have a loose tooth and wiggling it made it hurt so good? Or scratching a bite that you know you are gonna make things worse but it feels so right? That’s the way I feel about Hilary being photographed wearing one of my Chainsaw Chicken baseball caps. Thanks for the notoriety of wearing my […]