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PRIVATE Erik Lessons

PRIVATE Erik Lessons

As a young child, Chainsaw Chicken did a home study coarse on Liturgical dance. He had the notion that as an adult he would enter the famous School of Dance in Bakersfield, California, created by Erik Estrada from ‘Chips’ fame. Then it was on to ‘Dancing with the Stars’.

Funky Chicken and Bongos

Funky Chicken and Bongos

Back in 1999, Matthew McConaughey was arrested after police discovered him dancing naked doing the funky chicken and playing bongos in his Austin home with a male friend. Upon searching the home, police discovered that they had been smoking a dried plant substance that later was tested and identified to be buckwheat. Today, Matthew and […]

Where’s Your Curtsy?

Where’s Your Curtsy?

Webster says ‘Curtsy … a formal way of greeting an important person in which a woman shows respect by placing one foot slightly behind the other and bending her knees.’ However Mrs. Chainsaw Chicken did not hold this faux pas against the Queen when the Queen failed to preform this gesture. Mr. Chainsaw Chicken found […]

GRILLED Hillary

GRILLED Hillary

  Today after coverage finished in the Benghazi hearings, Under appointed relief junior, Freshman Junior Congressman, assistant to Rhode Island Reds, the Right Honorable Chainsaw “Ruffles” Chicken extensively ‘grilled’ Hillary Clinton on her stance on Sharia Law coming to the United States.

Caitlyn is His Girl

Caitlyn is His Girl

Word leaked out today that Chainsaw Chicken and Caitlyn Jenner are involved in a “special” connection that has been brooding since her change from Bruce to her current identity. There has been no formal announcement as to the actual disposition of this union. When contacted, there was no reply from the Jenner representatives. The only […]

My Christmas Wish

My Christmas Wish

In this year of 2016, (reflecting now from 2022 – That was the hope), we pray that with the celebration of the birth of the Lord, that our new president will being the country new ways to proper and make our country even greater. I pray that nothing comes our way to upset the resurgence […]

Just a lit’l bit

Just a lit’l bit

During a press conference held two days ago held at in the Malahooie ballroom in Waikiki Hawaii, near the grand pool and indoor jungle corner, Maui Chicken showed just how close he came to winning the annual banana- coconut pie eating contest. He used the same gesture to indicate the height of toilet tissue he […]

Stay Off A My Boots

Stay Off A My Boots

After six months of basic training, Chainsaw Chicken sailed to Europe on the USS General Randall. For the next 18 months, he served in Company D, 32nd Tank Battalion, 3rd Armor Corps in Friedberg, Germany, along with Elvis Presley, where they both attained the rank of sergeant. Not being forced to kitchen duties for obvious […]

Degrading Society

Degrading Society

Chainsaw Chicken hosted a press conference at the 656 Grange Hall. He spoke with many concerned listeners who all shared the highest concern about the degradation of American Society… The poster says it all.

The Mrs’ 1st Husband

The Mrs’ 1st Husband

I know it may come as a surprise to some but before I was in the picture, Mrs. Chicken was previously married. It’s difficult for me to imagine my beautiful wife coupled with someone else, but the truth is the truth. This relationship was quickly annulled when she complained that they had never consummated their […]

No Eggs In There!

No Eggs In There!

Grandson of Chainsaw Chicken, Ryan (Buck) Chicken has entered the pubescent period of his young life more confused than ever. “No Buck, there are no eggs in there”.     New Harvard Chaplain

Meet Mrs. Chicken

Meet Mrs. Chicken

My lovely wife posed for a Tijuana street artist on our 10th anniversary. She looks pretty good considering she has had 15 clutches of eggs. We have 435 grandchildren counting the one’s we have ‘accepted’ as well as hatched.       Bigfoot Drumsticks

Shipping Out -Stood Up

Shipping Out -Stood Up

There was a photograph taken and printed in the local paper of our neighbor, Buck Cluck, when he was shipping out from the port of Tuscaloosa where he shipped out to fight the Fascist regimes of the Axis Power in June of 1943. He was able to find a porthole and worked his head out […]

I Won’t Watch So Much

I Won’t Watch So Much

Junior Chicken, a Freshman at Rosa Caesar JFK King High School in Paduka, Iowa really got in trouble today. He was being punished for expressing what he thought was a compliment to a fellow female student new to the school. The new girl was big for her age which is nothing new with girls and […]

Bay of Pigs Informant

Bay of Pigs Informant

Recently released FOIA documents have finally revealed the name of the informant that helped Castro be alerted and prepared for the Bay of Pigs invasion. His name was Bahía de Cochinos. This coincidence in name with the actual location of attack has clouded the investigation. However, Chainsaw Chicken learned from the death bed of Bahía […]

Post-Pres Plans For Obama

Post-Pres Plans For Obama

Information ‘leaked out’ this weekend that the lame-duck President, Barack Hussein Obama II, has agreed to lend his name and image to a Eastern European Septic Tank organization as a franchise service. “Business good” says Boris Chickenski. “Many people see truck, remember image on back end. They find me in phone book or business cards […]

KFC Derby-scratched

KFC Derby-scratched

After the surprise of Niquil, the first place winner and the next two that placed and showed. It seems there were fowls committed by all three entries on the backstretch when the replay was reviewed. This means that the winner is ‘Fever Blister’ jockeyed by Poncho ‘Dynamite’ Chicken. This not only represents the first time […]

Cruz Belts Wife

Cruz Belts Wife

As the picture shows and the title says, Cruz popped his wife while his attention was focused on getting a exiting hug from his long time friend Chainsaw Chicken, Rumor has it that Chainsaw was a close friend of Ted Cruz’s father and was with him on that faithful day in Dallas when President Kennedy […]