The latest news from the arctic region of Finland is not good. The super-magnetism released into our ionosphere multiplying the effect of the latest Aurora Borealis containing a lethal amount of radiation causing this prehistoric chicken to thaw from a glacier.
“The process works much the same way as defrosting a chicken from your freezer in the microwave for a Sunday Dinner” said Prof. Dogst Yasure of the Helsinki Community Annex. He added “Only this fryer is coming after YOU for dinner!”
All attempts to stop the 200 ft chicken have failed. Nuclear weapons are out of the question as that would only add to its gigantic power.
Conventional weapons seem to have no effect. Obama’s predator drones were pulled away from watching U.S citizens and flown to Finland to fire on the bird but there has been no effect. The dino chicken simply has harden exterior feathers.
The Obama administration stated that it will continue to monitor any and all calls to and from the chicken and at this time it does not appear to have been acting under direction from any known terrorist group. Although they suggest this may be the work of some home-grown prepper group. Inquiries into his status as a returning veteran or gun owner have started.
The Finnish military has assembled a team of volunteers equipped with a giant salt shaker in the hopes that depositing a generous application on the tail of the bird will stop it cold, as the old wives tale proclaimed.
Paleontologist are forced to reconsider their common belief with regard to chickens from the Jurassic period. They have been forced to place this chicken at the top of the apex of the animal order from his prehistoric period.
Japanese military leaders state that they are quite familiar with these types of situations as Tokyo has been destroyed dozens and dozens of times as documented in many movies. They have started chanting for ‘Mothra’ in hopes of a response.
In any case, Asian people from around the world are lining up to claim the feet of the bird for some cultural cooking dish. Even that merchant of death, Col. Sanders, wants some genetic material when its over in the hopes of commercially farming these beasts!
Stay tuned to this page for updates:
I think I saw something about this in the papers but it was hushed up.
Having read this I thought ‘watch out Godzilla”
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