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Empty My Gizzard

Empty My Gizzard

Okay, okay… I know! Not my best picture, but I went to Six Flags and all I came home with was an empty gizzard and this photo. The others in the car came home with a little more. Like that expression, ‘My parents went on vacation and all I got was this shirt’ was changed […]

Texas Chainsaw Chicken Massacre

Texas Chainsaw Chicken Massacre

All the movies about “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” were based on actual acts by Chainsaw Chicken called the Chainsaw Chicken Massacre. His therapy treatment was successful and the threat to the general population has been greatly reduced now that he is on parole and being forced to participate in chemical treatments.       Reeducation […]

Eddie’s Security

Eddie’s Security

Comedian and first-rate actor Eddie Murphy sits calmly next to Chainsaw Chicken who is like a coiled spring ready to lash out, pretending to be sleeping for 8 to 12 hours a day, luring assailants, then putting himself between Eddie and any unforeseen trouble. Stress is always high because of Mr. Murphy’s ever increasing popularity. […]

Cosmic Chicken Continues

Cosmic Chicken Continues

UPDATE: The Cosmic Chicken that terrorized Finland in our previous entry found his way into France. Locals there began rioting and burning structures in the hope of driving out this unwanted prehistoric chicken. He had originally emerged from being thawed by radiation coming from intense exposure to the Aurora Borealis rays. The press has claimed […]

Cosmic Chicken Attacks

Cosmic Chicken Attacks

The latest news from the arctic region of Finland is not good. The super-magnetism released into our ionosphere multiplying the effect of the latest Aurora Borealis containing a lethal amount of radiation causing this prehistoric chicken to thaw from a glacier. “The process works much the same way as defrosting a chicken from your freezer […]

Make Chickens Great Again

Make Chickens Great Again

You’ve seen the news. We all have. Chainsaw Chicken was embroiled in an media firestorm of misleading issues and misrepresented motives surrounding this confrontation. The ‘face-off’ was not with Nicolas Cage as this reference would suggest but with a leader of the Turkeyite Tribe, a small native American group, known for their worship of the […]

Cheaper than a seat!

Cheaper than a seat!

Chainsaw Chicken is a shrewd financial expert. He has always tried not to spend excessively whenever possible. Here is a picture of him traveling by bus to be with family members in the Tucson, AZ area. By checking himself in as baggage rather than buying a seat, he saved enough to purchase soft drinks at […]

‘Eyes Wide Shut’

‘Eyes Wide Shut’

When Stanley Kubrick was scouting for the occult ritual enjoyed by the rich dedicated sycophants, he and his scouting team where allowed to observe a private rite where the leader of this cult would select compliant and willing members to roam within the mist of the incense and noxious fumes. The list of members attending, […]

New Season of N&A

New Season of N&A

Watch for the new season of Naked and Afraid starting next Sunday at 8.PM. This seasons opener features Chainsaw Chicken dropped onto a tropical island with Yoko Ono. Watch as they make friends, then clash fiercely and finally smooth out their pairing when Yoko decides she will break her fast with a total poultry diet […]