你要知道 is tranlated from Chinese to English as “You must know”. And Hunter, you must know we need to keep your laptop from becoming available to the public. Oh, your cigarette is out… Let me fire you up. Anyway, the deals I have orchestrated here in this province must not get out to the public. […]
An Early Admirer
The idea, the concept, the notion of being like Chainsaw Chicken has been around for decades. In point of fact, before chainsaws were invented, the name Bucksaw Chicken was used. Here we see an early photo of a devoted worshiper emulating the craze of being Bucksaw Chicken. With the advent of the smaller, capable engine […]
Alec’s Wing Hold
Chainsaw simply has no tack. He went right up to Mr. Baldwin and asked him about his Spanish wife ‘Hilarious’ and the questions about the authenticity of her claims of being from the Mallorca. Well, Alec took it all wrong (again) and showed Chainsaw his new restraint hold he learned in his Combat Tai bo […]
Chow Mein Chicken
U.S. intelligence officials said that Christine Swallowswell Fang, the alleged Chinese operative, cozied up to multiple politicians in the California Bay Area between 2011 and 2015 at the direction of China’s Ministry of State Security. We’ve all heard about this report but who were the other politicians that receive the “cozie treatment”? We now know […]
Mandalorian Replacement
With the massive interest in the “baby yoda” character from the popular Star Wars spin-off, “The Mandalorian”, production of Season 3 was halted when an injunction was filed again Disney by the trustees of the muppet creators, Frank Oz Trust Corp because of alleged copyright infringement. Their point in the suit is that “Star Wars/Disney […]
Keeping Holidays Safe
Reserve office Brownfinger Chicken volunteered to assist in helping keep your Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings safe by enforcing the State’s policy of limiting your gatherings to 6 people, preferably from your own household. This socially woke crew randomly patrols, looking for homes that appear to have a slightly excessive amount of cars in the driveway. […]
New Chicken Part Offered
Seems KFC (Kentucky Fried Cousins) is offering a new chicken part to customers. Now we need to try to identify it. It has me baffled. It’s not a chicken beak, or chicken feet like those people in Asia seem to like, so what is it? I heard a suggestion that it was the last part […]
Build Back Better???
I am curious as to why so many governments around the world are all chanting the same slogan… Is it a mantra? Are they all working together? Is there something that links all these governments together? Some common goal? Naw… Stop being so conspiratorial… Sit back and relax. Chill. Stare into my image and say […]
Marshall Lucky Used Cars
Marshal Chic Lucky here for New Deal used cars. Where we’re battling inflation not only by fighting high prices not only by murdering high prices but by blowing the living cluck out of high prices! Yes sir! You heard me right. Now here’s an example,,, Let’s say you are looking for a 1973 Cadillac Coupe […]
Chicken Choking
A new study focuses specifically on the benefits of chicken choking, research suggests that chicken choking, including strangulation through chicken choking, is rumored do the following: reduce stress release tension enhance sleep quality boost constipation elevate mood relieve pin feathers aggravate sprains improve droppings Chicken choking has also been identified as a strategy to improve […]
Eggheads speak
The subject of egg shaped skulls has reared it’s ugly head again. Locations of elongated egghead skulls in a desert peninsula located within Pisco Province on the south coast of Peru, and the beaked skulls there are known to range from 2800 to 800 years old. An example found in 2015 was a mummified baby’s […]
First COVID-19 Birth
With all the “stay home and stay safe” and “flatten the curve” we all knew the birth rate would not stop. Mr. & Mrs. Chicken would like to announce the arrival of their chick they named Downy. Downy’s shell began to crack late last night and at 8:32 am the shell finally broke through making […]
G’ma’s Photo Album
Watching all those family get together commercials kinda got me reminiscing. So I drove over to Grandma ‘Bubbles’ Chicken home and sat her down on the couch. “Dear Grandma Bubbles” I said, “I want to just chat with you about your life, before Gramps, say back in high school. Can we take a stroll down […]
Spontaneous BBQ
This grainy investigation photo is from 1952. It was published in FATE MAGAZINE which was doing a story about Spontaneous Chicken Combustion. Scientists have often fought over whether spontaneous chicken combustion is real but the evidence for the argument is very compelling. Most of the chickens who died from SCC were either smoking or drinking […]
100% Brain Access
“The testing is complete and the results are in” said CNN’s Anderson Cooper on his evening news program. “Science claims that we can now see 100% of your brain, Mr. Chicken:, he continued. “That’s what they tell me” replied Chainsaw. “It’s all there, not like others that only use 60% of their brains,. I use […]
Listen to me, Kid!
“Shut up and listen!” shouted Mortimer Chickmeier. “Get that cowboy crap out of your head”. “Yeah, but Morti, I mean,… ah, what about ‘Cheyenne’, ‘Sugarfoot’, ‘Maverick’, ‘Wagon Train’, ‘Colt .45’, ‘Wyatt Earp’, ‘Wanted – Dead or Alive’, ‘Bonanza’, ‘The Rifleman’, ‘Laramie’, ‘The Big Valley’, ‘Have Gun will Travel’ and then there’s ‘Gun Smoke’. They’ve been […]
Uber Eats Driver
With all the restrictions about doing this or that BUT you can still order your greasy tacos or that meatball sub by using Uber Eats. And what do you get using this COVID leveraged service? You get a cold meal that has been waiting in the fast food restaurants counter for driver like Chainsaw to […]
Chickenator
In a new move to revitalize the creative ideas in the film industry, rather than simply remaking older successful movies (now days called a reboot), a new treatment is getting attention. Chainsaw Chicken is proposing blending two characters of movie fame. In this case, it is Conan the Barbarian with the Terminator, an indestructible cyborg-assassin. […]
Schedule Changed
OFFICIAL NOTICE: It appears that we will not be able to honor tickets purchased for the next show in the Nevada desert. However, if you are willing to hold on to your reservations, it appears that the next opportunity to attend this explosive show will be after January 20th of 2021. These events appear to […]
Covid in Obamaville
So far, like with everyone, it’s been a year, for sure! First we had the results of the Obama administration with all the unemployment and over taxation causing this delightful town to rename itself from Sunnyville to Obamaville. Then this covid crap has us on our final legs. No businesses here qualified for any Federal […]