BIDEN PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY OPENS FIRST PHASE IN DELAWARE

Wilmington, Delaware — With all the news about the opening of the controversial President Obama’s library and to not be overlooked, representatives for former President Joe Biden today unveiled the first completed phase of the Biden Presidential Library deep within the majestic forests of Delaware.

Nestled among towering stands of prized Delaware Pine, a rare species known primarily to Delaware residents and several Delaware tourism brochures, the new facility has already been hailed as a triumph of Delaware craftsmanship, Delaware vision, Delaware innovation, and, according to one spokesperson, “the Delaware way of doing things.”

The structure itself was handcrafted from locally sourced Delaware Pine harvested from sustainable Delaware forests by Delaware artisans using traditional Delaware woodworking techniques.

“It’s difficult to imagine a building more Delaware than this one,” said a Delaware official who requested anonymity because he was speaking on behalf of Delaware.

Visitors entering the new Reading Room will discover a thoughtfully curated collection of contemporary publications intended to reflect the interests of everyday Americans.

Among the reading materials currently available are:

  • Corvette Lover
  • Ice Cream Joy
  • Home Medical Equipment Illustrated
  • Hair Sniff Monthly
  • The Amtrak Enthusiast
  • National Geographic Delaware Edition

Library officials noted that additional magazines may be added in the future as shelf space becomes available.

The collection has been described as “substantial,” though librarians declined to release exact circulation figures.

The grand opening ceremony featured a brief speech highlighting the importance of literacy, community engagement, and remembering where you parked your car.

Representatives emphasized that the Reading Room is merely the first phase of an ambitious long-term vision.

Chainsaw Chicken, who attended the ribbon-cutting ceremony, praised the facility.

“I think they made the right decision,” he said. “Most libraries spend all their money on books. Here they’ve focused on the reading part first. That’s just smart planning.”

When asked whether the building’s resemblance to a modern outhouse was intentional, officials quickly clarified that the structure should instead be viewed as a “compact literary experience center.”

Construction on Phase Two is expected to begin as soon as planners determine what should go in it.