There seems to be considerable confusion lately concerning Woke 1 and Woke 2. I know because I was confused myself until I did some research, and now I’m confused at a much higher level.

Woke 1 is what most people traditionally think of as woke. It emphasizes awareness, inclusion and being sensitive to things you previously didn’t know you were supposed to be sensitive about.

Woke 2 is different.

Woke 2 includes many of the principles of Woke 1 but updates them to correct problems caused by people practicing Woke 1 incorrectly.

Unless it’s an election year.

During an election year, certain portions of Woke 2 can temporarily become Woke 1 again depending upon polling, geographic location and whether anybody is recording.

This is called Electoral Ideological Recalibration.

I think.

A person can therefore be Woke 1 while believing they’re Woke 2 because they haven’t realized that some Woke 1 terminology is no longer Woke 2 compliant. This is called Legacy Wokeness and shouldn’t be confused with Traditional Wokeness, which is something completely different that I haven’t figured out yet.

There is also Anti-Woke.

Originally, Anti-Woke meant opposing Woke 1. But after Woke 2 appeared, some Woke 1 people became Anti-Woke 2 while remaining Woke 1.

Technically, this makes them Woke Anti-Woke.

Election years complicate this further because a candidate who was Woke 2 during the primary may become Woke 1.5 during the general election while insisting nothing has changed.

Political scientists call this Position Continuity Through Strategic Modification.

Normal people call it Tuesday.

Meanwhile, some Anti-Woke people have adopted positions formerly associated with Woke 1 because Woke 2 moved somewhere else while nobody was watching.

There is also Pre-Woke, Post-Woke and Post-Pre-Woke. Post-Woke shouldn’t be confused with After-Woke, because After-Woke assumes Woke has ended, while Post-Woke merely acknowledges that Woke has moved beyond Woke without necessarily ceasing to be Woke.

Except during election years, when all definitions expire on the first Tuesday in November.

I’ve therefore stopped using the word entirely.

Before discussing politics, I simply ask people what they’re angry about.

It’s much faster.