Satirical Poultry Man Denied Entry Under Anti-Speech Act
LONDON BBC — A man known only as Chainsaw Chicken has been refused entry into Great Britain after immigration officials determined his speech posed “an imminent risk of awareness.”
Witnesses at Heathrow Airport reported that the individual, wearing what authorities described as “a suspiciously realistic chicken mask,” attempted to pass through customs carrying a suitcase marked Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd.
A Home Office spokesperson explained: “The United Kingdom is committed to protecting its citizens from offensive or destabilising remarks. Mr. Chicken has a history of commenting on obvious things in ways that can cause unnecessary reflection. That sort of behavior simply isn’t welcome here.”
When asked for comment, Chainsaw Chicken replied only, “I am here at the invitation of the Prince” He was immediately escorted to a holding area and placed on a return flight.
Critics of the decision argue that banning the man amounts to “pre-emptive censorship,” while supporters insist that Britain has no room for “alternative poultry perspectives.”
Mrs. Chicken, reached for comment outside their suburban coop, said: “We saw this coming. He can’t help but speak truth as he sees it.”