Mrs. Chicken dances for Halloween while the candy goes stale.
Halloween night arrived like a bad idea that wouldn’t stay buried.
The neighborhood was ready for candy — but Mrs. Chicken had other plans.
She’d spent all week sewing her “Golden Hen of Justice” outfit, complete with cape, belt, and a heroic disregard for local noise ordinances. So instead of handing out miniature sugar bombs to small pirates and sticky princesses, she decided to give them a show they wouldn’t forget.
(Watch the video below to see her strut her stuff.)
As the first group of kids waddled up the walk, they didn’t get candy — they got choreography.
Mrs. Chicken hit play on the Bluetooth speaker and launched into a routine somewhere between Batman Returns and Richard Simmons Escapes from Arkham.
Tiny pumpkins trembled. The inflatable skeleton next door looked concerned.
One kid dropped his phone trying to record it.
Chainsaw peeked through the blinds, muttering something about “this year’s therapy bill going up again.”
But it was too late. Mrs. Chicken was already halfway through what she called The Poultry Polka of Power.
By 9 p.m., the candy bowl was still full, the spiders on the steps had started clapping, and a rumor had spread through the cul-de-sac that “the chicken lady gives out performance art.”
And honestly, that’s probably scarier than anything the kids could’ve found at the haunted house.
But I think we’re gonna be TP’d after we turn out the lights.