After retirement, President Biden still needed a little help keeping track of things. Jill thought she had the solution: bring back the Easter Bunny aide, the one who used to hop in during press events and quietly redirect Joe whenever he started wandering off-script. Unfortunately, that plan collapsed after the world discovered the Bunny’s after-hours […]
How ‘Bout My Genes?
The Superior fit! “Breaking news from the denim front lines!” Chainsaw Chicken announced while twisting his hips in a pair of spray-painted-on jeans. “Apparently, wearing American Eagle now qualifies you for a slot in the Master Race—at least if you’re Sydney Sweeney and your marketing department forgot what century we’re living in.” Chainsaw spun around, […]
4th of July Chickettes
Did you see the parade? It was the local chapter of the Chainsaw Chicken Chickettes. The parade moved slow, like smoke drifting through a forgotten summer dream. Majorettes marched tight and sharp, heads held high, all proudly representing Local Chapter #47 — a mysterious group known simply as Chainsaw Chicken. They didn’t wear masks. They […]
Yet Another ’86’ Posting…
I was just leisurely walking around my neighborhood. “What a wonderful day,” I said out loud, enjoying the warm spring sunshine as it warmed my beak. As I passed the house of the neighbor I don’t get along with—the one who lets his many cats roam freely—I glanced at the kids’ sandbox. To my surprise, […]
New TicTok Bidder
Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd had thrown in a last minute bid to acquire the platform called TicTok and make it a totally domestic. His entry has thrown the high-tech world into a panic, Questions started swirling.Tim Cook from Apple Inc. “Who is this Chainsaw guy?” Others like Mark Zuckerberg from Facebook/Meta stated, “I don’t find […]
They did it to P’nut, I’m next!
Poor, poor P’nut the squirrel. Most know the story but for those who actually have a life, here is a quick review. A man in the State of New York rescued an orphaned baby squirrel. He cared for it and sheltered it while creating a meaningful owner/pet relationship. The squirrel soon learned some basic tricks […]
It’s Bromide Poisoning!
“It’s not good news, I’m afraid”, stated Dr. DeBakey Chicken. “I believe Poindexter has Bromide Poisoning!” “Oh No!” responded Chainsaw, “Was he poked by a Russian umbrella tip coated with this nasty substance? Or was it disguised in his cologne? He likes to wear so much Hai Karate… More Russian interference?” Dr. DeBakey […]
Drones are watching me!
Just the other night we heard something buzz the coop a few times. “What in the Sam Hill was that?” Mrs. Chicken shouted. I slipped on my shoes and ran out side. There, up above, was this object with a red and green blinking lights. Was it a bird, a plane or a […]
Russian Interference, Again!
Russian interference has reared it’s ugly head again. Just as the Justice Department announced, like they did before the 2020 election, the threat is real again! Some how, Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd has become involved in the meddling. This time, as a recipient of secret coded messages from the Motherland to agents here in America. […]
Cheap pagers available
My cousin Balboa Chicken is always trying to save a buck, make a deal and bragging about it later. He claims he got a hold of a shipment of pagers that ‘fell off the truck’ somewhere in the Middle East and somehow made there way to New Jersey. Why would someone want a pager, you […]