I’ve been trying to call and text FTX Chief Executive Sam Bankman-Fried all day. I get nothing! No call backs or replying text. I want to know what to do! With the news that FTX has failed and filed for protection from the courts and that Sammy-boy is in trouble with the authorities, I needed […]
Arrival at Martha’s Vineyard
Once we heard the welcoming message posted throughout Martha’s Vineyard, Chainsaw and his whole family decided to relocate to that wanting island. We traded eggs for a great big school bus that had been used by a local organic commune. They had decided to go ‘all-electric’ using rechargeable flashlight batteries on a used Chevy Volt. […]
Chuck’s Groom of the Stool
With the beginning of a new Royal Dynasty, Albert Reginald Chicken III has volunteered to assume the role his family has occupied, dating back 100’s of years. What role could that be? Well… his family has been ‘Groom of the Stool’. Generational training continued over the century’s, never knowing if their specialized services would be […]
Where’s Grandma Vodka?
Chicken Attracted Person
Balenciaga has formally apologized for an advertising campaign featuring Chicken abduction for bondage. The new name for this bestiality is ‘Chicken Attracted Person’. The response from the news and media has been next to nothing. It’s been postulated that the lack of coverage is the result of sounding like the are defending Chicken Attracted People […]
“Oh the humanity of it all”
Ever have a loose tooth and wiggling it made it hurt so good? Or scratching a bite that you know you are gonna make things worse but it feels so right? That’s the way I feel about Hilary being photographed wearing one of my Chainsaw Chicken baseball caps. Thanks for the notoriety of wearing my […]
Georgia Guide Stones Blasted
The Georgia Guide Stones were demolished by a unknown party this week. What is the Georgia Guide Stones you may ask? Don’t believe what Wikipediaphile says about who paid for this monument to the New World Order. It is a statement of laws or rules they want the World to run by. Lower the world’s […]
Liberal World Order Leader
Liberal world order revealed. Brian Deese, a political adviser serving under President Joe Biden, said the quiet part out loud. Something that was treated as either a conspiracy or a future event in a movie. But no. It is here. How do we know? The administration admitted it. But who is the leader of this […]
The Call…
I got….The Call… There I was, simply making a box of macaroni and cheese for lunch. Unexpectedly, the phone rang. I put down my wooden spoon and turned down the heat to bring my noodles to simmer for the perfect al dente . I reached over the counter and picked up the receiver. “Hello?…” I […]
New Defendant in Jan 6 Investigation
Today the January 6th committee of the House of Representatives announced unofficially that their investigation is now adding Chainsaw Chicken to their list of potential defendants to be subpoenaed. A clerk who wished to remain anonymous stated that “While we know he was not in the Capitol, not in the rally, not in the D.C. […]
She dumped me for Bill
My Uncle, Sussman Chicken, always seemed to have a real thing for Hillary Rodham. They were in law school together, he hung out with her at the frat parties and sock hops. Sussman even had a pet name for her. It was Hillary ‘Hot Rod’ Rodham! I know… Pretty painful. They had a pretty active […]
Chainsaw Joins Ukraine
Flying several sorties each day, he concentrated on self-selected targets including a laxative factory and a couscous storehouse in Russian territory. Twice he has played ‘chicken’ with enemy jets, always winning. Incidentally, the plane is equipped with many secret compartments to bring back “the BIG Guy’s 10%” from Ukrainian investments when he returns back to […]
VP Harris’ New Messaging
The White House is remarkably silent after the announcement of VP Harris’ New Messaging approach. With her ever increasing number of staffers jumping ship, there was a concern about the VP’s messaging. Realizing this, the VP seized on the suggestion made of the Greg Gutfeld Show, stated by regular Tyrus, “that everything she says sounds […]
New Dis-Info Czar
New Dis-Info Czar, O’Brien Chicken, was appointed as the replacement for the misaligned predecessor whose tenure ended faster than CNN-plus. Yes, with the embarrassment of a cancelled Broadway show, Dis-Info Czar appointee Nina Jankowicz resigned her position stating the “disinformation ruined her position as disinformation czar”. Suddenly, DHS was at a loss as what to […]
Not me…really!
The internet has been all a buzz about Joe Biden getting pooped on by a bird when he spoke in Iowa. You probably saw it on the news. When that happened, people all over started suggesting it was me, Chainsaw. That I was the one in the rafters. It was not me…really! Clearly that’s not […]
Financial Yacht Party
My Uncle, Hunter Chicken, was commissioned to bring his 75 meter yacht to the coastal area of Delaware for those ‘hanger-ons’ and “unofficial” foreign government representatives of the current administration to party with the son of the ‘big guy’. There the twins from Ukraine, Mushi and Pushi. There’s Shemi from Uzbekistan and there’s Miss Columbia’s […]
Russian TV Interrupted
Some of you may have seen the short video of a television station employee stepping out behind the Russian TV announcer to tell watchers that they need to know the truth about the war with Ukraine. It made the news everywhere. Those 20 seconds startled the world. But if you had let the program continue, […]
Secret Decoder Ring
Ever notice how confusing and disconnected some political people can be in their speeches and press conferences? I tried and tried to really understand their statements. I would take the key sentence and diagram it on a white board so I could get the full meaning of what was being expressed. But alas, I just […]
Genocide Games Zamboni
Have you been watching the Genocide Olympic Games from Beijing? Have you noticed how smooth and flawless the ice is? After all those skaters from hockey or ice dancing cutting grooves it can be pretty tricky for the competitors. They don’t show it much on the coverage but you should know that it’s Chainsaw Chicken […]
You Stupid Son of a Bitch!
“You Stupid Son of a Bitch!” roared from the lectern, the President pointing his index finger aiming at Chainsaw Chicken. Chainsaw froze in position instead of leaving the press briefing. He slowly turned to face the President seeing who he was speaking to. Biden’s finger remained twitching at him. “Me?? Me, Mr. President?” Chainsaw meekly […]