Chainsaw Chicken International-LTD, has done it again! Chainsaw Chicken, the CEO and President announced that they have successfully created an untapped energy stream. “It came to me when I was remembering something I’d heard so many people say… He’d be spinning in his grave if he knew what was happening”. Chainsaw has created a mechanical […]
Super Bowl Initiation
When I saw the half-time at the 2021 Super Bowl, I got chills. My body began to shake and shutter. I was instantly taken back to my P.E. class in the 7th grade. Oh… I feel nauseous! I remember it like it was the day before yesterday! My P.E. class was a mix of 7th, […]
Walk and Chew Gum
It seems what we constantly hear is that people can “Walk and chew gum at the same time” appears to not be a universal truth. Here at Chainsaw Chicken International – LTD, the hallway security camera caught one of our senior executives demonstrating the difficulty of the experience. Our corporation has made several requests for […]
Search and Destroy
Chainsaw Chicken has accepted the task no one seems willing to do anything about. He has decided to take on those damn SPAM CALLERS with orders to ‘search and destroy’. Using the method practiced in the Vietnam war when we were actually trying to win, he is planning on daily interdiction raids as well as […]
We Need Unity
Just as our fearless leader the President stated, the battle between chickens and turkeys have been extreme. But in one of the most beautiful gestures seen by modern man, Chainsaw Chicken, representing all chickens, has stated that “We must unite”. He said this and released a soft white dove gripping an olive branch, with an […]
Flocking to Oregon
As of Feb 1st, Oregon has done something to solve the tourism issue. They legalize hard drugs! While only small amounts of drugs are decriminalized, such as less than 1 gram of heroin or MDMA; 2 grams of cocaine or methamphetamine; 12 grams of psilocybin mushrooms; and 40 doses of LSD, oxycodone or methadone, there […]
Help Wanted
Help Wanted: We are growing into a woke company and we are now accepting applications for the position of Regional Organic Media Agitator. Applicants for this entry-level position need to possess the following skills and requirements; Successfully completed bachelor-level accreditation in social awareness Have social media account that we can inspect and quantify the amount […]
Doin’ his bit…
After all the hoopla about shutting down oil and gas production within the USA, Chainsaw decided he would take steps to ‘do his bit’ about energy. He converted his bicycle with a generator integrated into a rear-wheel stand that connects to a battery storage device. “I can peddle for about 6 hours a day and […]
Another ‘Joe Blob’
Well, Joe has hit again! He’s shutting down more energy creators and with that, more jobs gone. This is beginning to happen more and more. So much that a new uncomplimentary term as become attached. Many now say that “Joe has given me a Joe Blob”, an apparent reference to the 1958 movie “The Blob” […]
Biden Inaugural Dinner
As the USA and much of the free world celebrates the inauguration of President Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. and Vice-President Kamala Devi Harris (she even wore a dress), Chainsaw Chicken has commissioned a traditional celebration dinner. Invited are the new President and Vice-President, the First Lady Dr. Jill ‘Kildare‘ Tracy Biden (née Jacobs, formerly Stevenson) […]