Emergency medical personnel continued CPR on Fred Chicken after it was learned he somehow fell in the fryer,
Spontaneous BBQ
This grainy investigation photo is from 1952. It was published in FATE MAGAZINE which was doing a story about Spontaneous Chicken Combustion. Scientists have often fought over whether spontaneous chicken combustion is real but the evidence for the argument is very compelling. Most of the chickens who died from SCC were either smoking or drinking […]
Project Bluebook ’61
Date: Sept. 17, 1961 Location: Van Dyke Turnpike area, Troy, OH Incident Report: Rooster child named Chainsaw Chicken, age 5, was reported to be missing for 4 hours on this date. When finally discovered, he had no explanation at all as to where he had been except to say he saw a ‘bright light’ and […]
Mothman Photographed
Mothman is a humanoid moth-like creature reportedly seen in the Point Pleasant area of West Virginia, November 15, 1966 and has not resurfaced for years until recently. Chainsaw Chicken has submitted this photo claiming it is Mothman taken two days ago in the Pt. Pleasant’s legendary T.N.T storage area. He was even able to record […]
Texas Chainsaw Chicken Massacre
All the movies about “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” were based on actual acts by Chainsaw Chicken called the Chainsaw Chicken Massacre. His therapy treatment was successful and the threat to the general population has been greatly reduced now that he is on parole and being forced to participate in chemical treatments. Reeducation […]
Cosmic Chicken Continues
UPDATE: The Cosmic Chicken that terrorized Finland in our previous entry found his way into France. Locals there began rioting and burning structures in the hope of driving out this unwanted prehistoric chicken. He had originally emerged from being thawed by radiation coming from intense exposure to the Aurora Borealis rays. The press has claimed […]
Cosmic Chicken Attacks
The latest news from the arctic region of Finland is not good. The super-magnetism released into our ionosphere multiplying the effect of the latest Aurora Borealis containing a lethal amount of radiation causing this prehistoric chicken to thaw from a glacier. “The process works much the same way as defrosting a chicken from your freezer […]
‘Eyes Wide Shut’
When Stanley Kubrick was scouting for the occult ritual enjoyed by the rich dedicated sycophants, he and his scouting team where allowed to observe a private rite where the leader of this cult would select compliant and willing members to roam within the mist of the incense and noxious fumes. The list of members attending, […]
Easter Island Discovery
After finally obtaining permission from the government of Peru, Bumgardener Chicken started using microwave technology to search Easter Island for more Moai heads carved by the Rapa Nui. Within a few days an entire row of Moai heads where found under the ruins of a past culture. These carvings dated back farther than the typical […]
New Friends to the Rescue
My niece was driving in the badlands of New Mexico last week and evidently took a wrong road. She followed it for miles until her TomTom GPS device stopped saying “Turn around and head back to the last town” and started saying, “Don’t Stop, Whatever you do! Your goose will be cooked”. She called me […]