One more strike against a Cuomo family member happened today. This time, Elmo Cuomo was arrested for Chicken Porn and Animal Cruelty.

He was arrested for willfully attempting to get chickens drunk and then posing the corps in provocative photo shots. The carcasses recovery of these victims have not happened yet. It is believed that Elmo is using the location of the remains as leverage to avoid maximum sentencing if found guilty.

“He tried to do this crap with me too” shouted Chainsaw Chicken to the reporters gathered for the press conference.

The reporters asked very deep questions as follow ups to his statements. One asked “What was his favorite flavor of ice cream?”. Others asked, “Did you bring enough for us?”.

The probing questions were met with silence.


Chainsaw “Scalia-ized”