With all the news cropping up about UFOs and the video information ‘leaking’ to the National media, it’s time that I finally come clean and lay out the facts and truth as I know it.
You can laugh, snicker or ignore this ever increasing event but it will be to your detriment.
You see, I am from another planet, I came here in the 1950’s, landed in a park in Washington, right on a baseball field. I was greeted by the scientific community as well as the army. When I proceeded down my ramp, I was shot in the shoulder by a scared soldier.
My robot companion, named Gort, descended the stairs and raised his visor. His raygun-type beam shot out and vaporized tanks, rifles and anything that could harm me.
As he kept them busy defending me, I escaped and eluded the authorities. I blended into the population, made friends with a woman and her child and continued to contact the scientific community to warn them of the impending danger they were facing.
What was the danger? The existential threat of Woke-washing! The act of coating everything with the pale paint of being woke.
Gort, my robot friend, was especially programmed to wipe out wokeism. This could mean that he, uh… them? … ah it… could end up destroying the USA, Canada, most of Europe as well as New Zealand and Australia in an act to rid the world of this pestilence.
If you are confronted by Gord and you see that visor raise with that beam warming up, remember those important words, “Klaatu Barada Nikto“… It might save you.
Oh, hang on…. The movie playing in my head just stopped. Where was I?